Love is one of these things that can grow deeper in time, where instead of the lust it’s a now emotional pull. “Many couples experience their relationship like dance in which great sex brings them close, but then this very closeness can make sex difficult again.” (“Mating in Captivity,” 2006, p.28) In chapter 2 Perel describes that love and desire are two different ideas completely. While we typically seem to think they are one in the same, they clash most of the time. Love can be nurturing, protection, and comfortability. Whereas desire is more selfish. Perel spoke throughout the chapter talking about how often it is these aspects of love that can kill the desire. One thing that has helped me tremendously throughout all of my relationships
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Your childhood plays an incredible role in shaping what type of person you become, especially towards intimate relationships. “Our sexual preferences arises from the thrills, challenges, and conflicts of our early life.” (“Mating in Captivity,” 2006, p.107) A lot of the examples Perel gave throughout chapter 7 gave insight on the behaviors people give to their relationships. When someone does not get their needs met by the very people who are supposed to love us, can lead to damaging effects in our lives.
For example, I felt abandoned early on as a child with the death of my father, so therefore I seek out men to fill that void. I jumped from relationship to relationship in my teens seeking some type of male attention that I never received. When I was younger, I never thought my behavior towards men had anything to do with my childhood trauma, but the older I got and the more I looked back at old behavior I realized what huge impact it played on my decisions sexuality, emotionally, and physically towards men. Even now I see that I was searching for a father figure, one that would love me, and not leave. It has been 25 years since he passed, I still think in some odd way I searching for that reassurance in my …show more content…
Perel gives many examples throughout chapter 10 on the different types of relationships that can qualify as polyamory. Culturally, we are taught from a young age that monogamy is the only way a marriage can work, and if we seek love outside the relationship than we are wrong. “Monogamy is the norm, and sexual fidelity is considered to mature, committed, and realistic.” (“Mating in Captivity,” 2006, p.192) What I loved about this chapter was the honesty surrounding this topic, and monogamy isn’t for
Your childhood plays an incredible role in shaping what type of person you become, especially towards intimate relationships. “Our sexual preferences arises from the thrills, challenges, and conflicts of our early life.” (“Mating in Captivity,” 2006, p.107) A lot of the examples Perel gave throughout chapter 7 gave insight on the behaviors people give to their relationships. When someone does not get their needs met by the very people who are supposed to love us, can lead to damaging effects in our lives.
For example, I felt abandoned early on as a child with the death of my father, so therefore I seek out men to fill that void. I jumped from relationship to relationship in my teens seeking some type of male attention that I never received. When I was younger, I never thought my behavior towards men had anything to do with my childhood trauma, but the older I got and the more I looked back at old behavior I realized what huge impact it played on my decisions sexuality, emotionally, and physically towards men. Even now I see that I was searching for a father figure, one that would love me, and not leave. It has been 25 years since he passed, I still think in some odd way I searching for that reassurance in my …show more content…
Perel gives many examples throughout chapter 10 on the different types of relationships that can qualify as polyamory. Culturally, we are taught from a young age that monogamy is the only way a marriage can work, and if we seek love outside the relationship than we are wrong. “Monogamy is the norm, and sexual fidelity is considered to mature, committed, and realistic.” (“Mating in Captivity,” 2006, p.192) What I loved about this chapter was the honesty surrounding this topic, and monogamy isn’t for