Reflective Essay: Feeling Like An Outsider

Throughout history, it has been made evident that the world is a harsh place. Humans have turned against each other, through social, intellectual, and ethnic prejudices. It is easy to feel alone in this world, when you can feel judging eyes everywhere you turn for things that should not matter. As a sixth-grader entering middle school after years of homeschooling, I was bound to fall victim to the harsh gaze of society. Because of the social differences between my peers and I, I felt like an outsider for most of my middle school years.
The bullying I experienced started soon after I enrolled back into public school. At first, my future tormentors were hesitant to judge me. I could have possibly been a cool person, a potential best friend, a soon-to-be popular student. However, it …show more content…
I threw away my innocence so I could finally fit in and get some relief. Thinking back on the little girl I left behind, my heart twinges with a feeling I can't place. Maybe it's nostalgia for the person I used to be, or a longing to tell her that everything would be okay eventually. I do not know who she is anymore, but I miss her sometimes. Through time, I eventually stopped trying to be like the pariahs of my school and stopped caring what they thought. In a way, forcing myself to become tougher because of my bullying prepared me for the real world. I no longer flinch away when someone says a harsh word to me. In a conversation, I defend myself with a cool, even head and feel their insult ricochet off of my confidence. In a conversation, I am not filled with anxiety as I search for the perfect thing to say so people will think I'm cool. I contribute to the discussion with whatever I want to say, without a second thought. As bad as it sounds, the harassment I endured in middle school actually helped shape me into the person I am today and made me more confident with