My Life Experience Analysis

In my first paper titled, “My Life Experiences”, I spoke about my life as a roller coaster. I highlighted some of the obstacles I faced in the past few years of my life. When I was first assigned this assignment, I was elated that I could write about things I could relate to. I felt like I could write a book, but unfortunately, I struggled because I had so much to talk about. There are not enough words in this world to describe my life. It was also a difficult task for me to transfer my feelings and experiences into writings. I also struggled with the overall structure of this paper and not having varied sentence lengths. This has greatly impacted the result of my paper, but regardless of my weaknesses, I believe I had strong points. I included …show more content…
I tended to use short choppy sentences which made my writing bland. The epitome of this in “My Life Experiences” is, “I was broken. My life was constantly going downhill. It was a harder year than I anticipated. I had sleepless nights and struggled in school.” Over the course of the semester, I have attempted to avoid this issue. In “The Transformation of Mathew Meyer”, my sentences seemed less choppy. A perfect example of this is, “As our conversation began to wrap up, Mathew spoke about his musical maturity. In his earlier adolescent years, he would listen to hardcore music, but as the bands mature and their style of music changes and become more meaningful, he grows with them and his music preferences change too. Being a musician, he constantly changes what he plays, how he plays and what he likes to listen to.” This struggle came back in “Solange’s Ode to Blackness.” I wrote, “The video is soulful. Color played an important part in her music video. Her use of natural lighting and earthy colors were beautiful. It added to the laid back and mellow mood.” The sentences were snappy and weakened my evaluation. I was determined to improve and aimed to write with more rhythm in my last paper. An example of this improvement is, “Years later, the stigma against natural curly hair and it being constantly policed is still prevalent, especially in schools and corporate America. Even though these institutions have the right to enforce conservative policies, these should not be based on biased views and target only one group of people. They should, however, consider individualism and diversity when creating their codes of conduct.” After learning to use sentence variety, I became a more effective