I have always been confused about my self-identity since I was a little kid. When teachers asks each student, “What’s unique about you?” or “How would you describe yourself?” I would come up with something ridiculous after spending 10 minutes searching for the answer in my head. As a child, I did not know how to express myself in words; I would just depend on my feelings and sensations to be expressed through body language and face expressions. However, I noticed that my personality changed depending on every phase of my life. Thus, I believe that personality and identity is established on what I had faced during my lifetime; every chapter of my life has affected the way I talk and behave with people and looking at the world …show more content…
I was not fully aware of what was happening during that three-year period. I used to struggle essentially with fitting seeing that the majority girls were different than me. I was that girl that does not talk or get herself into trouble, while other girls talked together and gossiped about other girls. That environment was not only aggravate me, but also the school’s curriculum was still under development. They used to give us only papers, not proper books, to study from. All I can recall that those days were going very fast that I could not catch up with school work. During that period, I tried to be friends with a group girls from my previous school, but that did not go well; they looked at me like they did not know me, and it was awkward. I do not blame them by the reason of I was an introvert …show more content…
I transformed from the introvert, shy girl to a more social college student. I learned new pieces about myself during my first year in college. For instance, I became more approachable, and every so often I am the one who approach people. In addition, my English developed than when I first came to college. My self-confidence grew as well after I broke my social boundaries that prevented me from talking to peers. Likewise, I learnt from college that I should say what I truly want to say and express what I feel without concerning myself too much with the consequences. What am I losing when I say the truth compared to when I lie just to fit in and base everything upon deceptions? If I based my friendships and relationships upon lies, I would not feel that I am the same individual anymore. I feel like I am wearing a mask that shows people what they want to hear and see from me. But behind the mask there is me, looking at them in disgust, criticizing them, and hating myself for doing that. But why am I obligated to fall a victim into all these dramas when I can just easily avoid it by saying the truth? Honestly, I do not how understand who people base their relationships on dishonesty, by doing so they are only lying to themselves.
Furthermore, I look at myself in the future as a person who is more mature than now, more independent and knows what to do. I believe that I am going to change remarkably in the following years. I will be more confident