I am known be a ‘unique’ …show more content…
While everyone els partakes in the cultural convention of early morning prayer — I see it as an irrelevancy. I understand the value in religion as it behaves like the powerful ionic bonds I am unable to form: bringing people together and forming tight-knit communities. I however, have views reflecting those of my heroes such as Albert Einstein and Elon Musk: we are all connected through quantum entanglement but there is no higher power. This is an unacceptable opinion at school so I must hide it from most, only revealing it to those I can trust. What makes it even more difficult is that as a student leader I am expected to conform to the Jewish mould of KDL. But I am like a Newtonian Fluid, refusing to conform to a singular state and creating my own: one looked down upon by my community. These beliefs are also difficult to deal with as life loses its meaning. It is depressing, knowing we all will die and have no ultimate, predetermined purpose, leading me to contemplate my own existence and the value of life on multiple occasions. But just like a rapidly rotating mirror that turns virtual photons into real ones, it makes life more special as it is limited and will expire, encouraging me to pursue what I …show more content…
I am not distraught to be like this. People constantly view me as an intellectual — a fact I am ambivalent towards. It can be euphoric but like Shroëdinger’s Cat, simultaneously painful. Whenever I am bested by someone in an examination I am engulfed by a tornado of shame while they shout their triumph like the billowing winds of humiliation. It places tremendous pressure on me: whenever prizes are being given I break into an icy sweat, palms become clammy, heart rate and breathing elevated while adrenaline, a fearful liquid fueled by the prospect of not obtaining the highest aggregate, freezes me