A writer becomes homeless and is forced to reinvent his life after getting fired from his job and divorced from his wife.
STORY COMMENTS
The idea of a man trying to reinvent his life has merit. It can be either a drama or comedy or a combination of both.
The story seems to be driven by the theme of second chances. The protagonist is clear. Jim’s goal is to reinvent his life and write a story. The stakes are personal and financial. He’s trying to reconcile and prove to his daughter that he’s a responsible father. Hopefully along the way, he’ll learn self-respect.
The opening at the Oscar ceremony isn’t essential. It’s not really clear if Jim is there for a story or an autograph. Consider another opening, or just open with him at work getting …show more content…
It shows him learning to adapt in his “fish out water” world.
Show how he comes up with the idea to write about the homeless.
Remember, the homeless will teach Jim something about life and living.
The antagonist/obstacles are a bit vague. Any human antagonist should be set up in the first act. Unemployment benefits, hassles from cops etc. feel a bit too sporadic. Most stories need a consistent foe or obstacle. There needs to be strong obstacles that prevent him from achieving his goal. It can be a combination of external and internal. Perhaps it’s Merry or a new man in her life or a rival writer acts as an antagonist.
Remember, to try and craft the sense of tension rising. He overcomes obstacles and just when he thinks he has achieved his goal, something might happen that sets him back. Try to include an “all is lost” moment for Jim, and then he gains insight into his dilemma.
Act Three – this act needs to be reconsidered. The idea of a movie producer making his film and Jim winning best screenplay isn’t very realistic or believable. It’s too good to be true and it’s not an ending that will resonate with readers or producers. Finishing his book (rather than screenplay) and finding a publisher should be the end
STORY COMMENTS
The idea of a man trying to reinvent his life has merit. It can be either a drama or comedy or a combination of both.
The story seems to be driven by the theme of second chances. The protagonist is clear. Jim’s goal is to reinvent his life and write a story. The stakes are personal and financial. He’s trying to reconcile and prove to his daughter that he’s a responsible father. Hopefully along the way, he’ll learn self-respect.
The opening at the Oscar ceremony isn’t essential. It’s not really clear if Jim is there for a story or an autograph. Consider another opening, or just open with him at work getting …show more content…
It shows him learning to adapt in his “fish out water” world.
Show how he comes up with the idea to write about the homeless.
Remember, the homeless will teach Jim something about life and living.
The antagonist/obstacles are a bit vague. Any human antagonist should be set up in the first act. Unemployment benefits, hassles from cops etc. feel a bit too sporadic. Most stories need a consistent foe or obstacle. There needs to be strong obstacles that prevent him from achieving his goal. It can be a combination of external and internal. Perhaps it’s Merry or a new man in her life or a rival writer acts as an antagonist.
Remember, to try and craft the sense of tension rising. He overcomes obstacles and just when he thinks he has achieved his goal, something might happen that sets him back. Try to include an “all is lost” moment for Jim, and then he gains insight into his dilemma.
Act Three – this act needs to be reconsidered. The idea of a movie producer making his film and Jim winning best screenplay isn’t very realistic or believable. It’s too good to be true and it’s not an ending that will resonate with readers or producers. Finishing his book (rather than screenplay) and finding a publisher should be the end