I’ve never really had friends. I had people that I would occasionally talk to, and maybe eat lunch with every couple of weeks at school but most of the time, I was alone. School and home weren 't that different from each other; I wasn’t close to anyone at school and I wasn’t close to anyone at home either. Not having anyone that I could really talk to forced me to constantly suppress my feelings and deal with them by myself. That led to years and years of depression and obsession with death and gore. I was someone obsessed with things like murders, the paranormal, and especially psychology and how the brain works. Sometimes I would study certain subjects for months, learning about some of the most famous murderers and what their motives were.
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I turned my head slightly to the right to glance at the clock and see that it was 6 in the morning. I noticed something was wrong when I tried to turn my body with my head and I couldn’t. I thought that I was just still too groggy to get up and laid still for a couple minutes then tried to turn my body onto my side again. Then I realized that I couldn’t move my body at all and something was wrong. I viciously tried again and again to get up but it felt like I had a 400 pound weight strapped to my whole body. It was impossible for me to move anything below my neck. I could turn my head, and move my eyes but everything else was immobilized. My mind did some sort of reset, like what happens when your computer crashes and you turn it off and then turn it back on. I thought that if I calmed down I could be able to do something about it. I took 2 or 3 deep breaths and tried to move again, when I still couldn’t move I started to freak out more than I already was. Adrenaline was filling my body and had nowhere to go besides out, I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. I felt the air in my lungs and felt it going up to go out my mouth but when I tried, there was no sound. Nothing at all. Tears rolled down my face and I closed my eyes as hard as I could to shake the feeling but that didn’t work. When I opened my eyes, I wish I had kept them closed because …show more content…
The dream I had before the paralysis made me realize that life isn’t something I could just take for granted. I saw my mom, the person who carried me in her stomach for 9 months, gave birth to me, and took care of me even when things were rough, at her funeral…
Then when I work from the dream, I felt like I was dead.
It was a wakeup call and I needed to take it seriously and take action to change my life for the better.
I changed my life for the better that day, I payed attention in school, I didn’t talk back to adults, I stopped self harming, and I changed my outlook on life. If it wasn’t for that experience, I wouldn’t have made it this far in life. I don’t think I would still be alive to be applying for college
I turned my head slightly to the right to glance at the clock and see that it was 6 in the morning. I noticed something was wrong when I tried to turn my body with my head and I couldn’t. I thought that I was just still too groggy to get up and laid still for a couple minutes then tried to turn my body onto my side again. Then I realized that I couldn’t move my body at all and something was wrong. I viciously tried again and again to get up but it felt like I had a 400 pound weight strapped to my whole body. It was impossible for me to move anything below my neck. I could turn my head, and move my eyes but everything else was immobilized. My mind did some sort of reset, like what happens when your computer crashes and you turn it off and then turn it back on. I thought that if I calmed down I could be able to do something about it. I took 2 or 3 deep breaths and tried to move again, when I still couldn’t move I started to freak out more than I already was. Adrenaline was filling my body and had nowhere to go besides out, I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. I felt the air in my lungs and felt it going up to go out my mouth but when I tried, there was no sound. Nothing at all. Tears rolled down my face and I closed my eyes as hard as I could to shake the feeling but that didn’t work. When I opened my eyes, I wish I had kept them closed because …show more content…
The dream I had before the paralysis made me realize that life isn’t something I could just take for granted. I saw my mom, the person who carried me in her stomach for 9 months, gave birth to me, and took care of me even when things were rough, at her funeral…
Then when I work from the dream, I felt like I was dead.
It was a wakeup call and I needed to take it seriously and take action to change my life for the better.
I changed my life for the better that day, I payed attention in school, I didn’t talk back to adults, I stopped self harming, and I changed my outlook on life. If it wasn’t for that experience, I wouldn’t have made it this far in life. I don’t think I would still be alive to be applying for college