Ineffective Communication: The Seven Principles Of Making Marriage Work

1924 Words 8 Pages
Introduction
Communication is the expression of an intended meaning by one party to another party through the use of signs that are known and understood by both parties (Turner & West, 2013). These signs may be spoken signs, written signs, drawn signs, picture signs, or body movement signs. It is important to note communication is only possible when both parties have the intention to communicate with each other (Turner & West, 2013). That is, one party must be willing to create a clear positive message while the other party must be willing to receive the message and provide a positive feedback.
Moreover, it is a fact that communication is the foundation for fruitful human interactions. The humans’ ability to communicate is what enables them
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This survey was conducted on 100 professionals of mental health who handle clients (spouses) who have problems in their relationships. Additionally, this survey found that the communications problems that men faced in relationships were different from those that women faced in the same relationships (Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 2015). 83% of mental health professionals agree that most men complain that women nag them and do not appreciate their efforts, which hinders them from effectively communicating with women (Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 2015). On the other hand, they also agree that most women complain that men often dismiss their opinions and ignore their feeling, which hinders them from effectively communicating with men (Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, …show more content…
These are the criticism of one’s personality; stonewalling; defensiveness; and contempt. Gottman expounds on these communication problems (Gottman & Silver, What Makes Love Last?, 2012). He explains that individuals who like criticizing the way their partners think or behave are likely to discourage the victim of negative criticism from communicating with the offending partner (Gottman & Silver, What Makes Love Last?, 2012). He also explains that stonewalling occurs when one refuses to communicate with one’s partner for days because of a disagreement between them. This may result in retaliation by the partner who has been stonewalled (Gottman & Silver, What Makes Love Last?, 2012). Defensiveness refers a one’s inability to accept one’s mistakes, which discourages offended partner from communicating with the offending partner (Gottman & Silver, What Makes Love Last?, 2012). Finally, Gottman explains that contempt refers to the hatred that a one develops towards one’s partner. This also hinders effective communication (Gottman & Silver, What Makes Love Last?,

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