1.Hello everyone and welcome to our live newscast. I'm Johnny Joyride. Some of you probably know me from my award winning college essay on water titled "Pick Your Poison." My professor was so impressed with the essay that when she finished reading it she said "Wow, I have never seen a man your age write at a ninth grade level."
2.It was at that time I realized. Even though I'm older, there are still things I can do as well as a young teenager. But that's enough about me. I could talk about myself all night because according to my overpaid therapist I'm a egotistical, narcissistic, psychopath. Whatever.
3.The real reason we are here tonight is to talk about water conservation. With the population steadily rising, the nation is starting …show more content…
While others think it would be a good idea to stop building tourist attractions that use a cities worth of water everyday. But people, I think we have found a better way.
5.Joining me in the studio tonight are some members of the DPA, also know as the Dirty People of America. I just wanna let you know, I'm not really gonna be talking to them because based on their name and concept, I'm pretty sure they're not familiar with the English language.
6. But anyways. The DPA has come up with a well thought out plan to stop all of this useless handwashing in America in order to save our water. Personally I think it's great concept.
7.If you think about it, soap wasn't even invented until 2800 B.C. Do you think life forms would have survived on this planet for 2800 years without soap if it was so important? The DPA feels handwashing today is just a habit for people, not a necessity.
8.People today feel like they have to wash their hands every time they use the restroom. In all reality everyone is touching the same kind of body parts. So what are you really avoiding by washing your hands? If your genitles have fungus on them, so do other people's. That's just part of
2.It was at that time I realized. Even though I'm older, there are still things I can do as well as a young teenager. But that's enough about me. I could talk about myself all night because according to my overpaid therapist I'm a egotistical, narcissistic, psychopath. Whatever.
3.The real reason we are here tonight is to talk about water conservation. With the population steadily rising, the nation is starting …show more content…
While others think it would be a good idea to stop building tourist attractions that use a cities worth of water everyday. But people, I think we have found a better way.
5.Joining me in the studio tonight are some members of the DPA, also know as the Dirty People of America. I just wanna let you know, I'm not really gonna be talking to them because based on their name and concept, I'm pretty sure they're not familiar with the English language.
6. But anyways. The DPA has come up with a well thought out plan to stop all of this useless handwashing in America in order to save our water. Personally I think it's great concept.
7.If you think about it, soap wasn't even invented until 2800 B.C. Do you think life forms would have survived on this planet for 2800 years without soap if it was so important? The DPA feels handwashing today is just a habit for people, not a necessity.
8.People today feel like they have to wash their hands every time they use the restroom. In all reality everyone is touching the same kind of body parts. So what are you really avoiding by washing your hands? If your genitles have fungus on them, so do other people's. That's just part of