Petersen's Why Don T We Listen Better

Jon Skeens
Practical Book Review
HSCO 508-B10 LUO
Dr. Denise Anderson Summarize In order for any relationship to survive, there must be good communication present between all parties. In Petersen’s Why Don’t We Listen Better: Communication and Connecting in Relationships, he explains that in an interpersonal relationship it is necessary to have a speaker and a listener. The listener is most often the one that determines whether or not the conversation is useful or not. Petersen also teaches the reader how to incorporate better listening skills into their everyday lives so that they can become a better communicator. In his book Petersen discusses the two levels of communication. The first level is when a person is speaking
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He discussed a quote from C.S. Lewis about acting on behalf of others before you come to love them. That statement really made me think that people who are hurting often hurt others through their own pain. We are all guilty of this at one time or another and it made me realize that maybe those times I thought I did something wrong I really was just being targeted by that person because they were hurting. While I do agree with much of what Petersen talks about in his book there are things I don’t agree with, specifically, offering advice. If a friend calls me on the phone and asks me for advice, or even if they don’t ask, I feel the right thing to do as a friend is to offer advice if I can add something meaningful. Petersen says we should avoid doing this but I disagree. I think every situation is different but as a friend we are obligated to help in any way we can because they are our friend. Petersen did an excellent job of explaining his techniques and how they can be applied in the reader’s life by giving good examples throughout the book. Even the few parts I did not agree with made me think about them which is exactly what a good writer does, make you …show more content…
But as this class has progressed I discovered there were a few areas that I could improve upon. One of these areas is instead of really listening to the other person I was planning my response so I could jump in, this is referred to as ritual listening. By doing this I was not really hearing what was being said which besides being rude is not professional. In order to consider myself a good listener I have to be able to hear what is being said so I can take it in and process it. I also want to be able to understand flat brained people better so that I can help them in spite of their emotional obstacle course. I want to be able to help them think clearly and make good decisions as well as help them learn to understand what being flat brained means. I have always felt if a person can understand their shortcomings it can help them overcome them. Lastly I really like Petersen’s TLC approach and I want to use this with friends and family to see if it can help me improve upon those relationships. Having the card displayed on a table or another public place will help us both not only become better listeners but also better overall communicators. I want to help make my friends and family better so that they can use these skills in their other relationships, not just the one they have with me. When it’s all said and done we have to have the right

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