This week is national eating disorder awareness week, a topic that has been influential in my life. Eating disorders (anorexia in particular) has the highest mortality rate of all mental disorders. It’s hard to know whether it’s from the lack of help available, a general lack of misunderstanding by most of the population, the amount of secrecy involved in this disorder, or a mix of all. This is why I started my wellness coaching business. When I suffered from an eating disorder I got to the point where I realized I was no longer in control of the food, the food was in control of me. I remember waking up in the middle of the night riddled with agony. My legs and my feet would cramp up so much that my toes would turn inwards and stay stuck.
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For the first time in my life I was in control of everything and I had no idea how to make choices. I made them for everyone else in my life except me. I was going to school in a program because that’s what my parents wanted. I was dressing based on what was accepted. I would sleep for 12+ hours to try to escape from myself. Going days between starving and then binging and purging, fingers bleeding, eyes blood shot. The real reason I healed or how anyone will heal is to begin the true journey of self.
(picture with quote about how healing only happens if you want it to)
The very first step to healing is to understand who you are without external validation or suggestion. During this time it’s important to avoid looking at social media or anything else that will externally suggest how you should be, what you should like, what you should dislike, or what you should desire. It can be a useful practice to act as if you’re experiencing every person, place, and thing for the very first time. From there you can begin to tune in to the sensations in your being recognizing if you like or dislike the people, places, and things you’ve surrounded yourself
For the first time in my life I was in control of everything and I had no idea how to make choices. I made them for everyone else in my life except me. I was going to school in a program because that’s what my parents wanted. I was dressing based on what was accepted. I would sleep for 12+ hours to try to escape from myself. Going days between starving and then binging and purging, fingers bleeding, eyes blood shot. The real reason I healed or how anyone will heal is to begin the true journey of self.
(picture with quote about how healing only happens if you want it to)
The very first step to healing is to understand who you are without external validation or suggestion. During this time it’s important to avoid looking at social media or anything else that will externally suggest how you should be, what you should like, what you should dislike, or what you should desire. It can be a useful practice to act as if you’re experiencing every person, place, and thing for the very first time. From there you can begin to tune in to the sensations in your being recognizing if you like or dislike the people, places, and things you’ve surrounded yourself