Final Reflective Paper A relationship that I would like to improve upon with my very close friend named Kiersten. We met during gym class in middle school and we just stuck together. From that point on, we became best friends. We were those friends who did everything together, we became an inseparable pair. If one of us was going to hang out with some of our mutual friends, the other one had to come along. We are also the type of people who don’t anger very easily, and because of that, we’ve never had a fight. If something was bothering one of us, we would tell the other and it was simply no big deal. We remained this way all through high school and only after we both went to college did I notice a difference with our relationship. It wasn’t
…show more content…
Communication Rules
Communication and language is often controlled by rules, whether they are conscious or unconscious, such as, we understand that people take turns when speaking and how much eye contact to give a person who is speaking. (Wood 110) This also varies between things such as gender. Generally, women’s talk is more expressive and focused on feelings and personal issues. They also view communication as the primary foundation for relationships. Men, on the other hand, tend to be more instrumental and competitive and view the primary foundation for communication to be doing things together. (Wood 121)
This applies to our relationship because I relied on emotion and feeling the most in our friendship. I put my faith into the fact that we would always tell each other everything and rely on communication to show our friendship. When that primary communication was broken, that was when I felt hurt. I was so used to be the person she went to when had something to get off of her chest and we would hang out just to talk. Kiersten and I grew up together and went through formative years with each other, so I think that we also adapted each other’s communication rules and used them in our own relationship. She knew that I preferred when people made eye contact when speaking and listening to show that they were grasping what I was saying. She doesn’t really like eye contact but would look at me when I was speaking about something serious to show that she was there for me. …show more content…
In chapter 10, I read a paragraph about acceptance and it actually helped me to understand what my friend was going through when she kept this secret from me. The main reason for why she didn’t tell me was because she was afraid that I wouldn’t accept her or the choices that she had made. (Wood 286) At first, when I did learn about her secret, I wasn’t very accepting of it because it had gone against things that I had talked about openly with her. She had to learn to accept that I might not agree with her choices and I had to learn that we are different people and she has freedom to make her own choices. I don’t necessarily have to agree with them, but I do accept
Communication Rules
Communication and language is often controlled by rules, whether they are conscious or unconscious, such as, we understand that people take turns when speaking and how much eye contact to give a person who is speaking. (Wood 110) This also varies between things such as gender. Generally, women’s talk is more expressive and focused on feelings and personal issues. They also view communication as the primary foundation for relationships. Men, on the other hand, tend to be more instrumental and competitive and view the primary foundation for communication to be doing things together. (Wood 121)
This applies to our relationship because I relied on emotion and feeling the most in our friendship. I put my faith into the fact that we would always tell each other everything and rely on communication to show our friendship. When that primary communication was broken, that was when I felt hurt. I was so used to be the person she went to when had something to get off of her chest and we would hang out just to talk. Kiersten and I grew up together and went through formative years with each other, so I think that we also adapted each other’s communication rules and used them in our own relationship. She knew that I preferred when people made eye contact when speaking and listening to show that they were grasping what I was saying. She doesn’t really like eye contact but would look at me when I was speaking about something serious to show that she was there for me. …show more content…
In chapter 10, I read a paragraph about acceptance and it actually helped me to understand what my friend was going through when she kept this secret from me. The main reason for why she didn’t tell me was because she was afraid that I wouldn’t accept her or the choices that she had made. (Wood 286) At first, when I did learn about her secret, I wasn’t very accepting of it because it had gone against things that I had talked about openly with her. She had to learn to accept that I might not agree with her choices and I had to learn that we are different people and she has freedom to make her own choices. I don’t necessarily have to agree with them, but I do accept