Reflective Essay: Changes In My Abilities As An Actor

My journey within this class has been an exciting one. I've felt changes in myself and in my abilities as an actor. Despite having different levels of varying success at different parts of the semester, I feel confident with where I stand now. Throughout all of the class, my anxieties and my tendency to be a perfectionist about my ability to act have diminished, resulting in improvements in focus and characterization. At the beginning of the semester, my anxiety and perfectionism overtook my confidence; I allowed my inner-critic to dictate my nerves during a scene. I was so caught up in what I messed up that I held myself back from improving. This resulted in me even second-guessing my major for awhile. These tendencies found themselves ingrained …show more content…
The open scene, for me, was a pleasant surprise and reminder of my abilities. During the last performance, I let go of my anxieties and allowed myself to go with the flow, giving into the character and the circumstances and it worked. As a result of that performance, I became more comfortable just living in the moment of the scene. I have even found myself improving on my ability to do that in daily life. Furthermore, I learned the value of trusting my scene partner and being okay if the scene isn't performed the same way every time. In the 4000 Miles scene, I successfully adapted some of these aspects, but lost others. In the beginning of the performance, I embraced my character better than I had in practice; I was confident and assertive like Bec. However, towards the middle of the scene, I didn't continue to connect and trust my scene partner. Although, I didn't allow my inner critic to intervene, I wasn't completely living in the given circumstances. In the second half of the semester I proved to myself what I am capable of in terms of being flexible in the scene and not allowing my inner-critic to dominate my