Pain And Loss-Personal Narrative

As a kid, I suffered more than my fair share of pain. I can’t sugar coat the fact that it happened and what happened was awful for me and my family. I am not saying that I haven’t ever dealt with loss and pain since then. I have had my fair share of it, believe me. Pain and loss are more than acquaintances to me. But we certainly are not best friends.

One particular event occurred when I was seven. I am not going into detail. It’s not just my story and opening old wounds, letting them bleed may not be what is best at the moment. I do enough of that. Really, I do. That is a story for another time, another place.

I’ll cut to the chase. The incident happened and we ended up with our father for the first time in seven years. But to me, …show more content…
Granted, I was bawling my face off like a baby. I had household chemicals I had been using to clean, so my brain was a room full of toxic gas. That could have some effect too. So, even though this may not be perfect, it’s pretty darn accurate dialogue.

“I am so sorry. I don’t know what is wrong with me.” (sniff!) “I forgive you. This too is stressing me out. I am really worried, Kenz. This has to end. I am concerned about you and you know I love you. This past issue has to stop haunting you. You can’t act like this anymore. It’s not healthy.”

“I just want it to stop. I’m scared.” (sob) “I want help. Please mom, I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

That is basically a recap of the conversation, but it was not quite that. It was much longer, full of pauses,a copious amount of tears, and I asking for MEDs for a headache at the end.I had to explain how there were days I would not want to get outta bed but I did cause I had to. I had to rip open my wounds and cry to the point I had no more tears to cry. At the end of the conversation I felt better. I knew I was finally going to be able to heal. And it was all thanks to the one person who I loved yet treated like crap more than like I loved her. It was all thanks to her love and support, not to diss Dad who had helped, but she helped in a way he never could. And for that I am forever in her …show more content…
Some take longer than others, and that is just the way life is. We were all made that way, and God said it was perfect. Our teachers say we all work at our own pace, and that is true with grief. My sister healed somewhat faster than I did, or at least that is what I can see. It’s ok to show your feelings. Just do it and then let it go. Live your life and be happy. It’s commendable to let go after you have felt that. Yes, as you grieve you may go through the things I did and do. That could mean a stray from religion and faith or you could be like me and get closer to them. You may get medically depressed, and you may be bitter. But once you feel that bitterness and anger, let it go so you can live.

I am extremely grateful for my family, Mom especially. I hope that I am able to live better now, especially with this new regimen to help me recuperate. I think that if Mom had never come into my life, I’d be a very different and much darker person. I may have been down a darker and a sadder path without her willing to get me help. I’d still be a bit of a wreck like I am now… but I’d say let’s set that up at that time at least twenty. That’d be where I’d end up if I was not on this current