I could remember it like it was yesterday the hurt, the pain, all the guilt I felt. Knowing that there was nothing I could do to fix or stop what was happening right before my eyes was painful. All my life there was always something that happened, it seemed like the bad started to out way the good in my mind. I knew something was off my father was always in and out of prison, his body appeared weak and fragile. Communication wasn’t consistent I could have a phone call one day from his cell phone and the next day, you're getting a call from an inmate named(inmate says their name) press one if you would like to accept this call. Then one day my sister said something that changed my whole perception of everything that was going on, everything
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All that was going through my head was why what did he do? Was I mentally ready for what I was about to see? But I knew I couldn’t prepare myself for something like this I sat on the cold tile floors in the kitchen and logged on the computer I searched him up and I found were multiple charges of drug possession. I wept harder and longer than I ever have in my life. My sister asked me what's wrong? What did you find? The room sat silent while my face began to become wet and covered with hot tears and at the moment my sister changed my perception on the situation. By letting me know that my father had an addiction, he was sick, and I can’t control anything he does. But I knew I had to be strong I couldn’t let this hurt me, I wiped my face and it took me a while to understand that she was right, there was nothing that I could do to help him and fix …show more content…
I lost focus. This knocked me off my “A” game. I denied this for as long as I could now, while my best friend rolled around depression this was sad I didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I wouldn’t even talk to anybody. I started to hate him yes he was my dad but it didn’t seem like he cared about anyone but himself, he would write and i would never respond. As months almost a year goes by I was just starting to come to terms with it. He continued to put in effort to have a relationship with his daughter so I began to put a little more effort into our relationship, sense I knew that I couldn’t do anything physically I thought about having my mother and my sister become more communicative with him and this began to brighten up both of our worlds. The communication started to become better, we would talk on the phone almost everyday. Although the communication wasn’t hours long it was better than not talking to him at all. Me hearing his voice was the biggest part of my day, and knowing that i had a friend that I could go to and wouldn’t be judged for what i have to say or for what i have done was amazing. Even though my perception hasn’t changed a whole lot for him I expect better and more because he is strong and can fight through all the negativity and let the positivity bleed through. He pushes me to do better and be better than
All that was going through my head was why what did he do? Was I mentally ready for what I was about to see? But I knew I couldn’t prepare myself for something like this I sat on the cold tile floors in the kitchen and logged on the computer I searched him up and I found were multiple charges of drug possession. I wept harder and longer than I ever have in my life. My sister asked me what's wrong? What did you find? The room sat silent while my face began to become wet and covered with hot tears and at the moment my sister changed my perception on the situation. By letting me know that my father had an addiction, he was sick, and I can’t control anything he does. But I knew I had to be strong I couldn’t let this hurt me, I wiped my face and it took me a while to understand that she was right, there was nothing that I could do to help him and fix …show more content…
I lost focus. This knocked me off my “A” game. I denied this for as long as I could now, while my best friend rolled around depression this was sad I didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I wouldn’t even talk to anybody. I started to hate him yes he was my dad but it didn’t seem like he cared about anyone but himself, he would write and i would never respond. As months almost a year goes by I was just starting to come to terms with it. He continued to put in effort to have a relationship with his daughter so I began to put a little more effort into our relationship, sense I knew that I couldn’t do anything physically I thought about having my mother and my sister become more communicative with him and this began to brighten up both of our worlds. The communication started to become better, we would talk on the phone almost everyday. Although the communication wasn’t hours long it was better than not talking to him at all. Me hearing his voice was the biggest part of my day, and knowing that i had a friend that I could go to and wouldn’t be judged for what i have to say or for what i have done was amazing. Even though my perception hasn’t changed a whole lot for him I expect better and more because he is strong and can fight through all the negativity and let the positivity bleed through. He pushes me to do better and be better than