They say one can die from a broken heart, that you can become so distressed your heart strings pop and that vital organ no longer functions. I almost experienced this phenomenon, or so I thought, when I was nineteen. I met Brad my senior year of highschool and like most other teenage girls, I fell hopelessly in love. Things were great. We went to the movies, the beach and hung out with friends up until 4 months of one of our most memorable nights, graduation. My parents moved to Tennessee without me and Brad got kicked out of his parents home. Graciously my older brother allowed me to move in with him. Brad did not have a place to go other than a dilapidated camper located in his good friends unkempt backyard. The camper wreaked of must
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Brad and myself had money and we went on adventures together and had the time of our lives. That is until about five months into our relationship. I became depressed and hit rock bottom. My outer appearance and weight became my sole focus. My only point in living was to be thin enough and attractive enough. Where my unrealistic beauty standards came from I am still not quite sure, the media …show more content…
Day in and day out I would lay in bed and either cry or sleep away my sadness. Many a times I would sit in the shower, hot water cascading down my body while I held my knees pondering what my purpose for existence was. I felt so alone and lost. I began having panic attacks. At random times I would feel like I was drowning and I could not do anything but sit and cry helplessly. Every time I was upset I would run to Brad looking for comfort, someone who could save me and he did.. For a while. Brad began working long hours and would come home exhausted. I thrived off of Brad’s attention. It was the only thing that made me feel “okay”. Weeks of me waking brad up in the middle of the night to discuss how I did not want to live any longer if I would always feel this sad went by. Ever night I did this to him, he distanced himself from me a little more. Brad and I found out that we were moving back to Florida in a week. That is when everything went downhill. Conversations between us got shorter, we almost never had physical contact and he did not quite look at me the same anymore. Things were
Brad and myself had money and we went on adventures together and had the time of our lives. That is until about five months into our relationship. I became depressed and hit rock bottom. My outer appearance and weight became my sole focus. My only point in living was to be thin enough and attractive enough. Where my unrealistic beauty standards came from I am still not quite sure, the media …show more content…
Day in and day out I would lay in bed and either cry or sleep away my sadness. Many a times I would sit in the shower, hot water cascading down my body while I held my knees pondering what my purpose for existence was. I felt so alone and lost. I began having panic attacks. At random times I would feel like I was drowning and I could not do anything but sit and cry helplessly. Every time I was upset I would run to Brad looking for comfort, someone who could save me and he did.. For a while. Brad began working long hours and would come home exhausted. I thrived off of Brad’s attention. It was the only thing that made me feel “okay”. Weeks of me waking brad up in the middle of the night to discuss how I did not want to live any longer if I would always feel this sad went by. Ever night I did this to him, he distanced himself from me a little more. Brad and I found out that we were moving back to Florida in a week. That is when everything went downhill. Conversations between us got shorter, we almost never had physical contact and he did not quite look at me the same anymore. Things were