I once believed that reticence was an inseparable part of me, a destined, immutable flaw within my genes. At the age of seven, I was diagnosed with some sort of autistic disorder after a psychiatrist asked me to tell him what I saw from diagrams of colorful inkblots. True, a timid kid, known as the shyest among the shy, I used to converse with my father like this: “Were you uncomfortable with speaking?” “No…” “ Did you have anything in mind when the teacher asked questions?” “Yes, I think so.” “ Then why weren't you speaking, were your afraid?” “ I don’t know. I am probably born this way.” I sighed, my head shook like a melancholy pendulum as I snuck a peek at my father’s please-say-something face. Though
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A poster of a fancy microphone, along with its capitalized motto “VOICE YOURSELF” caught my sight . Out of a sudden whim, I realized that I had not even been trying to change the status quo. All I did was cringe in the corner of awkwardness and fear, waiting for my Messiah to save me out of my self-deemed destiny. I had promised my parents millions of times that I would try to speak a little more next time, and I probably would speak a word or two in the next class but that’s it, no more. I promise. Over and over, I caged myself into a box of …show more content…
I did not know what it was, not until it became stronger and stronger and took control over me. I was, no doubt, overwhelmed by the idea of being a host at the TV station, not necessarily for how much I liked the work itself, but for the recollection of my timid self that haunted me. An incorrigible coward who sat in the back of the classroom and was too frightened to make a sound. I hated him. I never longed for changing so much. I desired to be the one who appeared on the screen of every classroom every other Friday morning, the one who could articulate so naturally in public, the one who is marked by his eloquence. I wrote down my name on the list, the best signature I have ever signed. A shy boy, however, has no chance of becoming an eloquent public speaker overnight with fast forward scenes and upbeat background music as in Hollywood films. Looking into the infinitesimal camera lens, I could see my audience watching my every single
A poster of a fancy microphone, along with its capitalized motto “VOICE YOURSELF” caught my sight . Out of a sudden whim, I realized that I had not even been trying to change the status quo. All I did was cringe in the corner of awkwardness and fear, waiting for my Messiah to save me out of my self-deemed destiny. I had promised my parents millions of times that I would try to speak a little more next time, and I probably would speak a word or two in the next class but that’s it, no more. I promise. Over and over, I caged myself into a box of …show more content…
I did not know what it was, not until it became stronger and stronger and took control over me. I was, no doubt, overwhelmed by the idea of being a host at the TV station, not necessarily for how much I liked the work itself, but for the recollection of my timid self that haunted me. An incorrigible coward who sat in the back of the classroom and was too frightened to make a sound. I hated him. I never longed for changing so much. I desired to be the one who appeared on the screen of every classroom every other Friday morning, the one who could articulate so naturally in public, the one who is marked by his eloquence. I wrote down my name on the list, the best signature I have ever signed. A shy boy, however, has no chance of becoming an eloquent public speaker overnight with fast forward scenes and upbeat background music as in Hollywood films. Looking into the infinitesimal camera lens, I could see my audience watching my every single