I don’t really have ten reasons that I will die alone, but I read that if you put a number in your post title you get more hits. Sorry for the deception, but since you are already here please read on.
I may not have ten reason that I will die alone, but I firmly believe they will find me one day, lazy-boy in the recline position, a spilled glass of scotch by my side (hope it’s the cheap stuff; hate to waste anything good), my NETFLIX queue empty, and a cat sniffing at my rotting corpse (wait, I don’t have a cat – how did he get in here?)
It may not work out exactly like that, perhaps I will go quietly in my sleep with family at my side, but I’m pretty sure I won’t leave a second wife behind as a widow. Its not that I’m repulsive (in my opinion) and perhaps fate has something else in store for me, relationship-wise, but at this point date night is me, Johnny Walker, and my ROKU box (hey, my first threesome).
It’s not like I got …show more content…
I truly believe I would have married her except she moved back to the Midwest (at least she told me she moved back). We tried the long distance relationship charade, and for the fleetingness of moments I even considered moving out with her. We both knew, however, that was not going to happen; I could never leave my kids and move to another state (thanks, kids).
I then dated someone for a few years. She was introduced to me through a friend, and on paper it should have been the perfect relationship. We both like movies, drinking, and sex. Any combination of those three made for a pretty good weekend. Sadly I have always been a firm believer of “the spark” (I have been ridiculed for that belief most of my life) and this relationship need something and that something was missing. I ended it a few times (I told you I was bad at breaking up) but it finally died from natural causes at the end of last year.
Now it’s just me, scotch, and the ROKU
I may not have ten reason that I will die alone, but I firmly believe they will find me one day, lazy-boy in the recline position, a spilled glass of scotch by my side (hope it’s the cheap stuff; hate to waste anything good), my NETFLIX queue empty, and a cat sniffing at my rotting corpse (wait, I don’t have a cat – how did he get in here?)
It may not work out exactly like that, perhaps I will go quietly in my sleep with family at my side, but I’m pretty sure I won’t leave a second wife behind as a widow. Its not that I’m repulsive (in my opinion) and perhaps fate has something else in store for me, relationship-wise, but at this point date night is me, Johnny Walker, and my ROKU box (hey, my first threesome).
It’s not like I got …show more content…
I truly believe I would have married her except she moved back to the Midwest (at least she told me she moved back). We tried the long distance relationship charade, and for the fleetingness of moments I even considered moving out with her. We both knew, however, that was not going to happen; I could never leave my kids and move to another state (thanks, kids).
I then dated someone for a few years. She was introduced to me through a friend, and on paper it should have been the perfect relationship. We both like movies, drinking, and sex. Any combination of those three made for a pretty good weekend. Sadly I have always been a firm believer of “the spark” (I have been ridiculed for that belief most of my life) and this relationship need something and that something was missing. I ended it a few times (I told you I was bad at breaking up) but it finally died from natural causes at the end of last year.
Now it’s just me, scotch, and the ROKU