Personal Narrative: The Trail That Changed My Life

I can feel my sides burning with every step I take. I try to pick up the pace but my feet start to ache. I start up my daily argument with myself, hating myself for getting up at five-thirty during the summer, hating myself for picking running to cope with my anger, and then I start to figure out my surroundings and I know that I am close. I can see the trail I am running on start to clear, the sun beaming through the break of the trees and I know that have made it. The ritual of running every morning to the clearing in the woods was a way to release some of the anger that resided after my dad left, but it became an important practice that helped me heal after my dad left.
My life would never be the same, my dad left and nothing was right. …show more content…
The trail was not worn here, it was evident that few people have wondered off at this part of the trail but I wanted to see what was over there. The trail was overrun with branches and weeds but once I pushed that away I was greeted with nothing. It was a small slope that created a clearing between the two sets of trees. The clearing was untouched, the tall grass and the wildflowers encompassing the vast open space, and as I walked inward the grass parted and I finally felt welcomed somewhere. Surrounding the clearing were huge trees, they created this private spot that was all mine, a place where I didn’t have to hide. This became part of my routine, I would run and sit in that clearing for hours, this place became a second home to me. I felt completely free here just sitting and watching the forest around me start to wake up. I would sometimes bring a book or a journal out here and for an hour I felt free of all the anger and sadness that plagued my house. This space gave me the privacy to be completely by myself; I didn’t have to pretend in front of my friends that I wasn’t sad so they wouldn’t pity me, and I didn’t have to keep it together in front of my family. I could scream and cry and I didn’t have to hold it in and try to be strong for everyone else. This place helped me be free and escape the numbing feeling of my daily …show more content…
This routine was the last thing I had control over. Everything in my life was uncontrollable, but I could do this one last thing to keep me sane. This routine gave me something to look forward to, it was the one peaceful time I had for an entire day. The running aspect gave me a distraction from all the numbing emotions I felt at home. The pain for me was a distraction and as Cheryl Strayed described in her novel Wild, “being forced to focus on my physical suffering some of the emotional suffering would fade away”. The burning in my sides, the sharp pains shooting up my legs, and the tightness of my chest, allowed me to forget all the emotional pain I was in, and it felt great. This place allowed me to grieve, I have never been good at expressing emotions for me it was easier to keep everything bottle up, and over time it really weighs you down. I would get angry for no reason, I wasn’t able to talk to anyone because my family was trying to deal with this their own way and none of my friends understood what I was going through. Both aspects of this ritual allowed me to let go of the grudge I was holding on to, it allowed me to let go even for an hour or so and I could heal. This routine helped me help myself and taught me how to let go of the pain I was feeling. Everyone learns to deal with their pain in a different way and for