In the first year of our relationship, my boyfriend, Jason, and I started having a few disagreements about decision making and communication. We would often watch movies together, eat dinner, or do something that I had planned. I was making all the decisions. Even if Jason had planned something for us to I would veto it for my own ideas. This lead to a little bit of animosity surrounding how we spent time together. A typical conversation we had would progress as follows:
Me: Let’s watch a movie.
Jason: Okay, can I choose? I never get to choose.
Me: Yeah.
Jason: Let’s watch Star Wars. Or we could watch Resident Evil, I think you would really enjoy it.
Me: Or we could watch Carriers?
Jason: We always watch weird scary movies that are your favorite …show more content…
Our relationship embodied an unfair social exchange theory. I was reaping the reward of watching all of favorite movies and gaining love and affection, while Jason incurred the cost of watching movies he did not enjoy. In conjunction with this, Jason would constantly ply for attention during the movie, which would irritate me. In turn, I would not give him the attention he desired. The social exchange theory can predict that, if Jason had not articulated his opinion, I would have continued to choose whatever movie I wanted. This due to considering that people prefer relationships that create the greatest reward, while only inducing a miniscule cost. However, if this had continued the theory can also predict that Jason would have been unhappy with the amount of cost and might have left the relationship. This theory could have helped me understand my relationship and gain additional control of the situation by instilling a proper knowledge of costs and benefits. Even though we gravitate toward low-expenditure, high-benefit situations, relationships are not a realistic way to maintain a healthy, loving …show more content…
As stated in “Listening: A Concept Analysis”, “In order to listen in a nonjudgmental and accepting fashion, the individual must suspend all preconceived beliefs, prejudices, and negative attitudes. The attribute of empathy is addressed in all definitions of listening” (Shipley pg 130). I did not keep an open mind to movie suggestions, instead prejudging them as “stupid”. I also oversimplified Jason’s verbal messages describing what he felt was unjust as him simply not wanting to watch a movie with me. If I had been critically listening I would have been able to notice behavioral changes, such as changes in tone. This would have helped me understand that Jason was actually upset in regards to not being allowed a chance to elect the movie and not just being
Me: Let’s watch a movie.
Jason: Okay, can I choose? I never get to choose.
Me: Yeah.
Jason: Let’s watch Star Wars. Or we could watch Resident Evil, I think you would really enjoy it.
Me: Or we could watch Carriers?
Jason: We always watch weird scary movies that are your favorite …show more content…
Our relationship embodied an unfair social exchange theory. I was reaping the reward of watching all of favorite movies and gaining love and affection, while Jason incurred the cost of watching movies he did not enjoy. In conjunction with this, Jason would constantly ply for attention during the movie, which would irritate me. In turn, I would not give him the attention he desired. The social exchange theory can predict that, if Jason had not articulated his opinion, I would have continued to choose whatever movie I wanted. This due to considering that people prefer relationships that create the greatest reward, while only inducing a miniscule cost. However, if this had continued the theory can also predict that Jason would have been unhappy with the amount of cost and might have left the relationship. This theory could have helped me understand my relationship and gain additional control of the situation by instilling a proper knowledge of costs and benefits. Even though we gravitate toward low-expenditure, high-benefit situations, relationships are not a realistic way to maintain a healthy, loving …show more content…
As stated in “Listening: A Concept Analysis”, “In order to listen in a nonjudgmental and accepting fashion, the individual must suspend all preconceived beliefs, prejudices, and negative attitudes. The attribute of empathy is addressed in all definitions of listening” (Shipley pg 130). I did not keep an open mind to movie suggestions, instead prejudging them as “stupid”. I also oversimplified Jason’s verbal messages describing what he felt was unjust as him simply not wanting to watch a movie with me. If I had been critically listening I would have been able to notice behavioral changes, such as changes in tone. This would have helped me understand that Jason was actually upset in regards to not being allowed a chance to elect the movie and not just being