The rush of anxiety came back today.
It was shitty and hard to deal with because I have gotten used to having good weeks with little to no anxiety.
It started when I took a look at the map for the university that I plan to attend next semester; there are so many different buildings.
I felt overwhelmed.
Well, I guess I still feel overwhelmed.
Right now, I am feeling sad, scared, lonely, angry and confused.
Sad because I forgot how scary it feels to be extremely anxious and I was reminded of how it felt.
Scared because I don't know what to expect when I start going to school there, but it makes sense that I am scared because I am thinking about the future and I don't have the ability to look into the future to see how things will be. I am scared that I …show more content…
Confused because I don't understand why this is happening to me. Why do I have to deal with these anxious feelings that are followed by sadness/depression and suicidal thoughts?
I felt anxious, depressed, and suicidal today.
While walking around the campus, I actually said "I don't even know if I want to go here anymore," and I also said "I'll just take all of my classes online."
That was my anxiety talking.
I felt like killing myself because I HATE feeling like I am being drowned by anxiety.
I would never, ever do such a thing because it would hurt the people who love and care for me, and I am also too significant to do that.
I consider myself to be significant because I exist, if that makes any sense.
I know that there are some factors that may have contributed to my anxiety, but I just wish I didn't have to deal with this.
Although I am feeling so many negative things right now, I am thankful that I have two anxiety disorders and depression.
My mental illnesses have encouraged me to be compassionate to others.
In the past, I would be so hard on myself for making small mistakes: dropping something, stuttering, not doing something correctly,
It was shitty and hard to deal with because I have gotten used to having good weeks with little to no anxiety.
It started when I took a look at the map for the university that I plan to attend next semester; there are so many different buildings.
I felt overwhelmed.
Well, I guess I still feel overwhelmed.
Right now, I am feeling sad, scared, lonely, angry and confused.
Sad because I forgot how scary it feels to be extremely anxious and I was reminded of how it felt.
Scared because I don't know what to expect when I start going to school there, but it makes sense that I am scared because I am thinking about the future and I don't have the ability to look into the future to see how things will be. I am scared that I …show more content…
Confused because I don't understand why this is happening to me. Why do I have to deal with these anxious feelings that are followed by sadness/depression and suicidal thoughts?
I felt anxious, depressed, and suicidal today.
While walking around the campus, I actually said "I don't even know if I want to go here anymore," and I also said "I'll just take all of my classes online."
That was my anxiety talking.
I felt like killing myself because I HATE feeling like I am being drowned by anxiety.
I would never, ever do such a thing because it would hurt the people who love and care for me, and I am also too significant to do that.
I consider myself to be significant because I exist, if that makes any sense.
I know that there are some factors that may have contributed to my anxiety, but I just wish I didn't have to deal with this.
Although I am feeling so many negative things right now, I am thankful that I have two anxiety disorders and depression.
My mental illnesses have encouraged me to be compassionate to others.
In the past, I would be so hard on myself for making small mistakes: dropping something, stuttering, not doing something correctly,