I want to start by saying that this account, these writings or stories - which I can’t promise will be that good or even well written- aren’t for me as much as they might be for someone like me. Whether well written or not, I do not write to demonstrate a talent for it, but because I need to. Because if I don’t I will surely implode. And if I improve, then maybe we both can get something out of this.
Maybe you are this person, maybe you aren’t.
I hope I am not alone in this when I say that life hasn’t turned out liked I initially planned. Sleepwalking through life would be a bit of an understatement. Even just staring at this screen, preparing what I want to talk about, makes my eyes swell a bit and that all too familiar knot presents itself in my throat. But screw it, I need to let this out.
Being in your late 20’s has a unique affect on your psyche. You take the moments when you are just supposed to be sitting, relaxing, sipping on an iced coffee you know you overpaid for, and turn them into everlasting sessions of reflection. For some, they are flooded with happy thoughts filled with memories that bring warmth to their heart and a grin to their lips. Others may be filled with a sensation that one comparable to dread, fear, or put more clinically, anxiety.
Regrets. …show more content…
These regrets of not learning enough, not believing in myself enough, thoughts of perpetual inadequacy, self-worthlessness, and all other negative adjectives that gang up on my thoughts have assumed a life inside of me. Times when I think to myself, “Hey! It’s not too late to become a writer,” I have this…being telling me otherwise. When I tell myself, “It’s not too late to become an artist,” it appears again, gripping my skull with its talons and crushing these hopes right out of me. Even the thought of becoming a better me is contested and battered down into the pavement with a sort of hate. It is a battle I face
Maybe you are this person, maybe you aren’t.
I hope I am not alone in this when I say that life hasn’t turned out liked I initially planned. Sleepwalking through life would be a bit of an understatement. Even just staring at this screen, preparing what I want to talk about, makes my eyes swell a bit and that all too familiar knot presents itself in my throat. But screw it, I need to let this out.
Being in your late 20’s has a unique affect on your psyche. You take the moments when you are just supposed to be sitting, relaxing, sipping on an iced coffee you know you overpaid for, and turn them into everlasting sessions of reflection. For some, they are flooded with happy thoughts filled with memories that bring warmth to their heart and a grin to their lips. Others may be filled with a sensation that one comparable to dread, fear, or put more clinically, anxiety.
Regrets. …show more content…
These regrets of not learning enough, not believing in myself enough, thoughts of perpetual inadequacy, self-worthlessness, and all other negative adjectives that gang up on my thoughts have assumed a life inside of me. Times when I think to myself, “Hey! It’s not too late to become a writer,” I have this…being telling me otherwise. When I tell myself, “It’s not too late to become an artist,” it appears again, gripping my skull with its talons and crushing these hopes right out of me. Even the thought of becoming a better me is contested and battered down into the pavement with a sort of hate. It is a battle I face