My friends always say that I have an “undying love for the motherland”. They know that I am extremely dedicated to Chinese. When people look at me now, they see a girl who is unashamedly proud to be Chinese American. However, they don’t see the long journey it took to become who I am today. I had a hard time accepting my Chinese heritage as part of my identity.
When I was younger, I hated being Asian and desperately wanted to be white. This was mainly due to the underrepresentation of minorities in children’s literature. I used to love reading (and still do), but almost all the books I read featured a white protagonist and a stereotypical American family. Being white seemed so appealing to me. I told my parents that I wanted us to be an “American family” and eat “American food” at dinner instead of rice. I didn’t want dumplings, noodles, or rice, I wanted sandwiches, spaghetti, pizza, etc. My favorite Chinese food wasn’t even authentically Chinese - it was whitewashed. At Chinese buffets, I mostly ate American food, such as macaroni and cheese and French fries. …show more content…
“Rachel sucks and Rachel eats ducks.” “Rachel Li didn’t get a 100 on a test? What has this world come to?” “Oh, you’re Asian, you must be smart. You can do all the work.” “All Asians look alike.” These were just a few of the things people have said to me over the years. Because of their harsh words, I hated my race even more. I hated the stereotypes, I disliked going to Chinese school, I despised the Chinese storytelling competitions my mom made me enter, and I also simply hated China. When I visited China in 2011, I complained nonstop about the heavy smog, the disgusting squat toilets, and the rude people who bump into you without even saying
When I was younger, I hated being Asian and desperately wanted to be white. This was mainly due to the underrepresentation of minorities in children’s literature. I used to love reading (and still do), but almost all the books I read featured a white protagonist and a stereotypical American family. Being white seemed so appealing to me. I told my parents that I wanted us to be an “American family” and eat “American food” at dinner instead of rice. I didn’t want dumplings, noodles, or rice, I wanted sandwiches, spaghetti, pizza, etc. My favorite Chinese food wasn’t even authentically Chinese - it was whitewashed. At Chinese buffets, I mostly ate American food, such as macaroni and cheese and French fries. …show more content…
“Rachel sucks and Rachel eats ducks.” “Rachel Li didn’t get a 100 on a test? What has this world come to?” “Oh, you’re Asian, you must be smart. You can do all the work.” “All Asians look alike.” These were just a few of the things people have said to me over the years. Because of their harsh words, I hated my race even more. I hated the stereotypes, I disliked going to Chinese school, I despised the Chinese storytelling competitions my mom made me enter, and I also simply hated China. When I visited China in 2011, I complained nonstop about the heavy smog, the disgusting squat toilets, and the rude people who bump into you without even saying