Ugh! Mortals, don't they have anything better to do. Fine, if u want to hear about my so interesting life then listen. I am Hades, God of Wealth, and, King of the Dead. I have two brothers -Zeus and Poseidon- and three sisters Demeter, Hestia, and Hera. See, Poseidon is obnoxious, but not as much as Zeus, oh don't even get me started on him. We are the 6 children of the terrible Titan, Cronus. You mortals, cannot fathom how much I hate him, my father ate me. But worse I was rescued by my show-off brother, you know who, the pretentious Olympian Zeus. One day he will join my enemies in the River Styx. What is the River Styx, you ask? Well, once someone dies, their soul comes to the river, where my trusted gondolier Charon gives the soul a boat
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One day, as I was lurking through Persephone’s garden, she could not see me because of this [Hit Helmet], my helmet of invisibility. My gaze fell upon her, and I knew she must be mine. Her insolent mother, Demeter, refused her hand in my marriage. So I did what any sensible god would have done, I abducted Persephone, and took her to my realm. In response, my idiot sister stopped all tending to the Earth, I was totally okay with this, and a growth of death-riddled plagues came. There was a huge influx in the underworld population, but then Zeus had to ruin it for me. He threatened me, and made me give her back. Anyways, right before I was to give her back, I gave her some pomegranate seeds. What she didn't know was that, eating something from my realm traps one forever. After Demeter heard about this she was outraged. Oops. So I made a deal, 6 months with me, six with her mother. Even now Demeter holds a grudge, the six months she is with me, she still stops all growth, and I believe you mortals call it “autumn and winter”. So that is the story of me and my wonderful wife. By the way. Do you mortals not have work, families, or a purpose? Now be gone, let me get back to my plotting against not so mighty,
One day, as I was lurking through Persephone’s garden, she could not see me because of this [Hit Helmet], my helmet of invisibility. My gaze fell upon her, and I knew she must be mine. Her insolent mother, Demeter, refused her hand in my marriage. So I did what any sensible god would have done, I abducted Persephone, and took her to my realm. In response, my idiot sister stopped all tending to the Earth, I was totally okay with this, and a growth of death-riddled plagues came. There was a huge influx in the underworld population, but then Zeus had to ruin it for me. He threatened me, and made me give her back. Anyways, right before I was to give her back, I gave her some pomegranate seeds. What she didn't know was that, eating something from my realm traps one forever. After Demeter heard about this she was outraged. Oops. So I made a deal, 6 months with me, six with her mother. Even now Demeter holds a grudge, the six months she is with me, she still stops all growth, and I believe you mortals call it “autumn and winter”. So that is the story of me and my wonderful wife. By the way. Do you mortals not have work, families, or a purpose? Now be gone, let me get back to my plotting against not so mighty,