The Fear of Falling Apart
What has happened in my life that has changed me drastically? Immediately, a blizzard of experiences overwhelms me. My life has never been simple, easy, or calm.
I didn’t grow up with a normal family. It was just my mother, my older sister, and me. Everything was going swimmingly until I was around the mere age of five when my sister went off to college. She was only fifteen minutes away, but my best friend had left me alone with my mother, whom I never got along with, and my father, who was always intoxicated.
I was left to my own devices and I found comfort in books. I spent all my time reading and gaining more and more knowledge by the hour.
Life got rockier and, in turn, more difficult, but it was manageable until third grade was right around the corner. By third grade my mother and my amazing step-father had gotten …show more content…
My depression was caused by the gibes from my peers, my family members, and myself. I had been oblivious for years, but now … awareness slammed into me like a train veering off track.
Just when I thought I had hit rock bottom, my alcoholic father got us into many car crashes. I was okay, but he went to court and has been residing in a rehabilitation center ever since.
It was as if all light had disappeared. I didn’t want to live any more. My grades were dropping, my friends were abandoning me, and laughter became impossible. I could feel the stress, anxiety, and depression filling me up, but I knew exactly how to let it out.
I turned to self harm. It was such a calming activity. When my heartbeat felt too prominent, a slice on my skin would dull it down significantly. With every scarlet bead of blood that bloomed on my pale, delicate skin, some of that pent up fear, stress, and sadness would vanish into thin air. Scars soon collected all over my body that varied in size, shape, color, and
What has happened in my life that has changed me drastically? Immediately, a blizzard of experiences overwhelms me. My life has never been simple, easy, or calm.
I didn’t grow up with a normal family. It was just my mother, my older sister, and me. Everything was going swimmingly until I was around the mere age of five when my sister went off to college. She was only fifteen minutes away, but my best friend had left me alone with my mother, whom I never got along with, and my father, who was always intoxicated.
I was left to my own devices and I found comfort in books. I spent all my time reading and gaining more and more knowledge by the hour.
Life got rockier and, in turn, more difficult, but it was manageable until third grade was right around the corner. By third grade my mother and my amazing step-father had gotten …show more content…
My depression was caused by the gibes from my peers, my family members, and myself. I had been oblivious for years, but now … awareness slammed into me like a train veering off track.
Just when I thought I had hit rock bottom, my alcoholic father got us into many car crashes. I was okay, but he went to court and has been residing in a rehabilitation center ever since.
It was as if all light had disappeared. I didn’t want to live any more. My grades were dropping, my friends were abandoning me, and laughter became impossible. I could feel the stress, anxiety, and depression filling me up, but I knew exactly how to let it out.
I turned to self harm. It was such a calming activity. When my heartbeat felt too prominent, a slice on my skin would dull it down significantly. With every scarlet bead of blood that bloomed on my pale, delicate skin, some of that pent up fear, stress, and sadness would vanish into thin air. Scars soon collected all over my body that varied in size, shape, color, and