Before jail, like I said, I never thought about raping anybody but if I didn't like what a woman said I thought about hitting her or dominating her. I learned that at group, I can see it, I don't have thoughts of hitting or sexually assaulting women. That's why I have to stop drinking now, it all go together. I went to AA (in prison). Survived 10 years of prison. So I know better. But I got a lot more pressure on me now. Back then (in prison), all I have to worry about is someone stabbing me ............... Prison was first wide open when I got there. Food, everything you need, books, cable. It didn't feel like prison until 6 years in, everything you didn't have on the street was there. I was eating, sleeping, but I got tired of laying in
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I wasn't thinking about getting out I was just thinking about taking care of myself, you know, like growing as a person ............... I got through it (prison) good, I never got stabbed, jumped. A scrap here and there but nothing for real. I had one bad fight in the Hole. I saw people selling drugs in 5 different prisons, so number 6 I tried it ............... No problems with being called rapist, not really, once in a blue moon. I had an older guy that gave me a blueprint (to living in prison). A family friend. I listened, did it like he said, I was pretty smart about it. Some prisons were tougher than others. But I never got raped or sexually assaulted. I was lucky I know that. But I got myself together in there because I always had something to eat and didn't have to worry about money ............... It's tough for brothers and sisters out here right? I know you know. So we (African Americans) get into dumb shit, stupid stuff. Start hurting each other cause you just trying to survive. The powers that be pitting us against one another. Everyday ............... My pops had it rough, ain't no jobs they want to give a Black man. My pops had pride I remember all that, but he just kept …show more content…
They'd open up the pinball machine, put a bunch of credits on it, give us a beer, and we'd be there until we had to carry him home ............... I don't think them calling us nigger all the time or putting Black people down had an impact on me. That's just Black people, that's how we see each other, that's how we live, not really. My drinking is my problem, my boss, racism don't really have anything to do with my situation. Racism is a big part of keeping us (African Americans) down, but for me, my life, it's the drinking that got me in trouble, you know, and bad luck. Like I had a good job and that Union came in, stuff like that ............... I don't really know what it means to be Black, a Black man. People taught me a few things in prison. I got to have pride in myself, my race. But my family, nah, nobody talked about being Black or what it means ............... At work it's mixed, outside of work it's all Black people I'm around. Jail was more mixed (Laughing). I don't see no White people around here brother. But they coming, Penn and them taking up everything around here. They trying to push all of us out to Yeadon or something ............... Race, I don't know, I think prison hurt
I wasn't thinking about getting out I was just thinking about taking care of myself, you know, like growing as a person ............... I got through it (prison) good, I never got stabbed, jumped. A scrap here and there but nothing for real. I had one bad fight in the Hole. I saw people selling drugs in 5 different prisons, so number 6 I tried it ............... No problems with being called rapist, not really, once in a blue moon. I had an older guy that gave me a blueprint (to living in prison). A family friend. I listened, did it like he said, I was pretty smart about it. Some prisons were tougher than others. But I never got raped or sexually assaulted. I was lucky I know that. But I got myself together in there because I always had something to eat and didn't have to worry about money ............... It's tough for brothers and sisters out here right? I know you know. So we (African Americans) get into dumb shit, stupid stuff. Start hurting each other cause you just trying to survive. The powers that be pitting us against one another. Everyday ............... My pops had it rough, ain't no jobs they want to give a Black man. My pops had pride I remember all that, but he just kept …show more content…
They'd open up the pinball machine, put a bunch of credits on it, give us a beer, and we'd be there until we had to carry him home ............... I don't think them calling us nigger all the time or putting Black people down had an impact on me. That's just Black people, that's how we see each other, that's how we live, not really. My drinking is my problem, my boss, racism don't really have anything to do with my situation. Racism is a big part of keeping us (African Americans) down, but for me, my life, it's the drinking that got me in trouble, you know, and bad luck. Like I had a good job and that Union came in, stuff like that ............... I don't really know what it means to be Black, a Black man. People taught me a few things in prison. I got to have pride in myself, my race. But my family, nah, nobody talked about being Black or what it means ............... At work it's mixed, outside of work it's all Black people I'm around. Jail was more mixed (Laughing). I don't see no White people around here brother. But they coming, Penn and them taking up everything around here. They trying to push all of us out to Yeadon or something ............... Race, I don't know, I think prison hurt