“Hey, there how are you feeling,” Said the doctor as I was waking up after the first of my 3 surgeries. If it wasn't for the anesthesia I would have said “It felt like I have been hit by 3 trains” but instead of saying that I nodded. With the little amount of energy I had I squeezed my mom's hand to reassure her that I was ok. The next few days where a blur of waking in and out of consciousness. What I do remember is how much it hurt to move in bed. I had a surgery that took out my colon and created my ileostomy. An ileostomy is when a bit of your small intestine is sticking out from your side which is known as a stoma. Your waste leaves from there and into a bag.And I remember that moment where I first saw my stoma scene by scene. Seeing this horrid pink thing poking out of me.
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I wanted to vomit and run away. But I couldn't run away from it and I hadn't eaten in days so I couldn't vomit. The nurses and doctors said it was a “good looking stoma” But in my mind, I had woken up with a monster attached to me. I covered it up. “Looking at it in the mirror helps and even naming it can help,” said the nurse. I wanted to tell her she was stupid and how could I name this. I regretted getting a life-saving surgery in that moment. I wanted to go back in time and tell myself don't get it! For the next few days, I tried everything in my power to not look at it. But as you can imagine it was quite hard too. I decided it was the best thing for my care to get adjusted to this thing on me. I looked at it for hours at a time in the mirror. I even named it Gummy. It's not the best name but it was what I could come up with. Soon I could clean and care for it without wanting to vomit or to cry. This surgery was the first of three long surgeries I had to face. Living with an ileostomy and going through all this taught me many things. One was my love for
I wanted to vomit and run away. But I couldn't run away from it and I hadn't eaten in days so I couldn't vomit. The nurses and doctors said it was a “good looking stoma” But in my mind, I had woken up with a monster attached to me. I covered it up. “Looking at it in the mirror helps and even naming it can help,” said the nurse. I wanted to tell her she was stupid and how could I name this. I regretted getting a life-saving surgery in that moment. I wanted to go back in time and tell myself don't get it! For the next few days, I tried everything in my power to not look at it. But as you can imagine it was quite hard too. I decided it was the best thing for my care to get adjusted to this thing on me. I looked at it for hours at a time in the mirror. I even named it Gummy. It's not the best name but it was what I could come up with. Soon I could clean and care for it without wanting to vomit or to cry. This surgery was the first of three long surgeries I had to face. Living with an ileostomy and going through all this taught me many things. One was my love for