Personal Narrative: I Believe In Pain

Pain. As John Green said, “it demands to be felt.” I believe in pain. I believe in a pain that is deeper than fear. I believe in a pain that hurts from the inside out. It’s deafening. Once it’s consumed you there’s no way out. But, there is. It was the summer, I had just gotten out of school. I could feel the stress, and I could feel the pain. But, I couldn’t tell anyone, wouldn’t they think I was crazy, like there was something wrong with me? I’ve cried every night for years. From betrayal, broken trust, failures. Wasn’t I just one of those failures I would think to myself. I was just one of those kids who everyone thought had their life planned out. Whose parents gave them what they wanted. That was true, I got what I wanted. It didn’t make me feel better. I thought for a while that …show more content…
It didn’t make me feel out of sorts but it made me sad. I wasn’t sad because I was different or because I had something wrong with me. I was sad because I had convinced myself that it was my fault and that I was the reason that I would cry. But, I realize now only after a little while that my pain and that the walls that I built around me not only protected me, but it might have saved me. I realize now that the biggest mistake in life you can make is letting other people choose how you feel. I realize now that without having these disorders that I wouldn’t have made the friends that I’ve made, and I wouldn’t be who I am. I’m not happier than I used to be, before I felt the pain. But I’m happier than I was yesterday, and the day before that. I still have bad days, and the thoughts are always going to be there. But without that pain I wouldn’t have survived. I wouldn’t have survived, the screaming, the fighting, the bullies. But I survived. I survived the screaming, the fighting, the bullies. It’s showed me that I decide who I am. It’s showed me that pain is a good