I am a child from a first generation immigrant family, only child in the household with the power of delivering Conan show in Korean. My copy of Laughing Without an Accent by Firoozeh Dumas is full of circles, high-lights, stars, folded corners, and side notes. There were countless moments where I had to take a deep breath recovering from laugh or gasp of total agreement. One of the chapters in Dumas’s autobiography, she states: “Most immigrants agree that at some point, we become permanent foreigners…” Her statement puzzled me, it was the very truth that I did not dare to let it out. Term “permanent foreigners” does not mean legal alien not permanent resident in United States. In United States, my social statues define me as a foreigner; in Korea, I do not have a place I call home, I am a foreigner in my own country.
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Being loud and staring at others are considered very rude and disrespectful in America, in Korea, it is simply not bothered. As a curious child, eager to vocalize my beautiful story about goddess of the endless water, I needed the reminder to not to get too loud at the restaurant, and not to observe too long at the other customer’s shinny blond hair. When I visited Korea couple years ago, I noticed myself exhausted and stressed out after having an amazing day out with my friends. I assumed it was the evil work of time zone, I forced myself to sleep sharp on ten o’ clock. It took me a year to realize I was feeling drained because people were staring at me. After years of my parents’ effort and attending school in America, my culture defined staring as disrespectful action. I, the permanent foreigner, felt very uncomfortable every time I noticed the pair of eyes focused on me. Even with my troubled emotions, I understood why people gave me so much
Being loud and staring at others are considered very rude and disrespectful in America, in Korea, it is simply not bothered. As a curious child, eager to vocalize my beautiful story about goddess of the endless water, I needed the reminder to not to get too loud at the restaurant, and not to observe too long at the other customer’s shinny blond hair. When I visited Korea couple years ago, I noticed myself exhausted and stressed out after having an amazing day out with my friends. I assumed it was the evil work of time zone, I forced myself to sleep sharp on ten o’ clock. It took me a year to realize I was feeling drained because people were staring at me. After years of my parents’ effort and attending school in America, my culture defined staring as disrespectful action. I, the permanent foreigner, felt very uncomfortable every time I noticed the pair of eyes focused on me. Even with my troubled emotions, I understood why people gave me so much