I'm at the crossroads between the different versions of who I am not.
I have come to figure out that a lot of my soul searching and self development has really just been trying out new things and figuring out all the things I am not. When I first had this realization I was a little upset. It seemed like I have been wasting endless time and countless dollars trying on different hats and realizing they don't fit. I put my pride into each “hat” and felt embarrassed or uncomfortable to take it off after all the energy I've invested into it. All this while avoiding the option of just not putting on any hat at all. It seemed as though this never ending search for a hat, for myself, was creating confusion and distracting me from who I truly …show more content…
I put my whole heart (or should I say head) into whatever hat I decide to put on, I wear it out until I realize it not for me. The beauty is I have a marvelous collection of experiences, that although I do not wish to continue with, I can cherish as memories. More than memories: strokes of paint on the canvas of my …show more content…
I know I am no longer the stoner I thought I was in high school, or the raver I thought I wanted to be in college, I'm not the party girl I thought I would always be while waiting tables, and I'm not a holder of a PhD like I wanted to be while studying philosophy. Who knows if the traveling hat will last for long and perhaps one day I'll put down the yoga hat too.
For now though, I think I look damn good in the hat I'm wearing and grateful for the hat collection I can reflect back on. The amazing thing is, I'm never going to run out of new statements to make. The experience of trying out new things, putting all my energy into it and flaunting around with passion has created character, strength, and color to who I am.
I wanted to find something that would define my life, but life isn't about definitions and limitations. It's about trying on the sleekest, smallest, biggest, most ridiculous, and outrageous hats you can find while having no concern with what people think about how you're dressed to live your adventurous
I have come to figure out that a lot of my soul searching and self development has really just been trying out new things and figuring out all the things I am not. When I first had this realization I was a little upset. It seemed like I have been wasting endless time and countless dollars trying on different hats and realizing they don't fit. I put my pride into each “hat” and felt embarrassed or uncomfortable to take it off after all the energy I've invested into it. All this while avoiding the option of just not putting on any hat at all. It seemed as though this never ending search for a hat, for myself, was creating confusion and distracting me from who I truly …show more content…
I put my whole heart (or should I say head) into whatever hat I decide to put on, I wear it out until I realize it not for me. The beauty is I have a marvelous collection of experiences, that although I do not wish to continue with, I can cherish as memories. More than memories: strokes of paint on the canvas of my …show more content…
I know I am no longer the stoner I thought I was in high school, or the raver I thought I wanted to be in college, I'm not the party girl I thought I would always be while waiting tables, and I'm not a holder of a PhD like I wanted to be while studying philosophy. Who knows if the traveling hat will last for long and perhaps one day I'll put down the yoga hat too.
For now though, I think I look damn good in the hat I'm wearing and grateful for the hat collection I can reflect back on. The amazing thing is, I'm never going to run out of new statements to make. The experience of trying out new things, putting all my energy into it and flaunting around with passion has created character, strength, and color to who I am.
I wanted to find something that would define my life, but life isn't about definitions and limitations. It's about trying on the sleekest, smallest, biggest, most ridiculous, and outrageous hats you can find while having no concern with what people think about how you're dressed to live your adventurous