How My Grandpa Dying Has Changed Me as a Person
Almost twelve months ago I came to the conclusion, no matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never actually be fully prepared. I came to the conclusion that my encouragement, reassurance, motivation and my shoulder to cry on was gone. Almost 12 months ago, on November 12th, 2015, my grandfather passed away.
This wasn’t a sudden death and shouldn’t have come across to anyone in my family as unexpected at all, yet in the moment it seemed so unusual, odd and incredibly bizarre. I remember that morning my grandmother waking me up for school at seven, then going into the room next to mine to say “good morning” to her husband, and to give him his medications to keep him going another …show more content…
I would find a lot of the times I’d be getting lectured and be telling myself how much I “hated” him. When I know now that there was not a single time I hated my grandfather, I hated being the wrong one in a situation and I now realize how much those lectures have made me who I am today and have made me a better, more considerate, kind and truthful person. The month or so before my grandpa passed he started to forget absolutely everything and he started to hallucinate. He would call people into his room and tell them to “get the kid out of his room” or ask why there was trees in his room, when really there was nothing in his room like that. He started to forget everyone and ask people who they were, and when they answered he didn’t know he was married, or denied having a son, or grandkids. Near the end, I avoided my grandpa as much as I could, so he didn’t have the chance to ask me who I was, because I didn’t think I’d be able to deal with him not knowing who his first granddaughter is. I thought one day he’d just snap out of it, but it only got worse. Sometimes I find I hate myself for ever thinking about how much I supposedly hated my grandpa and for avoiding him in the little bit of time he had
Almost twelve months ago I came to the conclusion, no matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never actually be fully prepared. I came to the conclusion that my encouragement, reassurance, motivation and my shoulder to cry on was gone. Almost 12 months ago, on November 12th, 2015, my grandfather passed away.
This wasn’t a sudden death and shouldn’t have come across to anyone in my family as unexpected at all, yet in the moment it seemed so unusual, odd and incredibly bizarre. I remember that morning my grandmother waking me up for school at seven, then going into the room next to mine to say “good morning” to her husband, and to give him his medications to keep him going another …show more content…
I would find a lot of the times I’d be getting lectured and be telling myself how much I “hated” him. When I know now that there was not a single time I hated my grandfather, I hated being the wrong one in a situation and I now realize how much those lectures have made me who I am today and have made me a better, more considerate, kind and truthful person. The month or so before my grandpa passed he started to forget absolutely everything and he started to hallucinate. He would call people into his room and tell them to “get the kid out of his room” or ask why there was trees in his room, when really there was nothing in his room like that. He started to forget everyone and ask people who they were, and when they answered he didn’t know he was married, or denied having a son, or grandkids. Near the end, I avoided my grandpa as much as I could, so he didn’t have the chance to ask me who I was, because I didn’t think I’d be able to deal with him not knowing who his first granddaughter is. I thought one day he’d just snap out of it, but it only got worse. Sometimes I find I hate myself for ever thinking about how much I supposedly hated my grandpa and for avoiding him in the little bit of time he had