It was just a normal night, but the room felt awkward. At the beginning of the week my mom stated that she wanted to talk. It was very unusual that she just wanted to sit down and talk. The tension got bigger and bigger; and suddenly she said, “Let’s go upstairs.” My anxiety grew, and I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest. My breathing started getting faster and faster, and my pulse was thumped as hard as drum sticks hitting a drum. Each step closer to the room was like the feeling of stepping on shards of glass, it was painful but real. As the door shut, the moment was real. The look on my mother’s face was as if she saw a ghost, she was worried. I sat down and she reached into her closest asking if I wondered about the papers
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All I could think was that this is not true, this is not happening to me. I wanted to scream at my mother about why she couldn’t tell her own daughter she had another kid. She continued with the story “He is around the age of 20 and he has a brother that is also adopted. His name is Mason, he lives in Canada and I do not keep in touch with him anymore.” She grabbed the pictures and had me flip through them. The room filled with silence, as if you were in a graveyard. The feeling of flipping through those pictures, was like getting a sliver in your finger after rubbing your hand over a piece of wood. I felt like I needed to get a hold of him, somehow. But I was terrified that maybe he didn’t want to know who I was. I didn’t know if he knew that my mom had started her own family. Would he be mad at me, my mom, or my family? At that moment I couldn’t pinpoint my emotions at all. I was okay, but at the same time not. Everything hit me like a hurricane, my mind was wondering. After the weird silent moment, my mom gathered her thoughts and we just kind of left the room. Nothing more was said. As we walked downstairs, you could feel the tension of awkwardness like you are sitting in a room with a bunch of people you have never met. I decided to go into my room to do some searching. I found
All I could think was that this is not true, this is not happening to me. I wanted to scream at my mother about why she couldn’t tell her own daughter she had another kid. She continued with the story “He is around the age of 20 and he has a brother that is also adopted. His name is Mason, he lives in Canada and I do not keep in touch with him anymore.” She grabbed the pictures and had me flip through them. The room filled with silence, as if you were in a graveyard. The feeling of flipping through those pictures, was like getting a sliver in your finger after rubbing your hand over a piece of wood. I felt like I needed to get a hold of him, somehow. But I was terrified that maybe he didn’t want to know who I was. I didn’t know if he knew that my mom had started her own family. Would he be mad at me, my mom, or my family? At that moment I couldn’t pinpoint my emotions at all. I was okay, but at the same time not. Everything hit me like a hurricane, my mind was wondering. After the weird silent moment, my mom gathered her thoughts and we just kind of left the room. Nothing more was said. As we walked downstairs, you could feel the tension of awkwardness like you are sitting in a room with a bunch of people you have never met. I decided to go into my room to do some searching. I found