Gym Struggles

My Struggle to Learn My Self Worth as a Competitor and Wife I have never really taken the time to dedicate myself to anything. Over the years I have tried different things and just never really found a fit. That is until I began strength training. For myself, strength training has become my go to for nearly everything. Stressed? Go to the gym. Sad? Go to the gym. Any frustration, be it large or small, I was able to find solace from in the confines of a gym with the smells of iron and sweat. After making the decision to become a competitor though I began to allow my mind to be filled with self-doubt. At times, this doubt nearly crushed me, at others it made me try harder. And others it left me confused and needing to find a motivation to get me there. This was one such day. In the end, I learned two things; one far more important than the other.
As my eyes struggle to open I halfheartedly reach across my nightstand to silence the evil device that has awakened me yet again at such an …show more content…
I shudder a bit when I recall that today is focused on hook grips. So, I chug my preworkout and make my way into the gym. As I stand in front of the power tower, this cold steel and yellow powder coated behemoth of a cage that beckons me to try my best, I contemplate how I make this happen successfully as a voice enters my mind, “You can’t do this. You are going to fail.” I walk towards the bar, doing my best to silence my self-doubt as it screams at me even louder than before. I close my eyes, breath in and grab the bar. Am I griping it right? That thought passes as I pull the bar up from my thighs to my chest. Flipping it slightly to adjust my elbows. I quickly squat and move each foot out an inch. As I am about to square my footing the bar slips out of my grip and I fall back landing not so gracefully with the bar perched precariously on both myself and one side of the