I am in an office at the Carlmont Highschool main building. There are people I know there – my family, some staff members – people I haven’t seen before – police officers (detectives) and school counselor – and also people I don’t know if I know them or not. The stress is increasing, intensifying and I feel my heart in my mouth (my mouth is dry.)
There is a large old light brown wooden desk at the right side of the office and a couple of couches and a chair on the other side. The windows go wall to wall behind the couches and chair. There is also a mid-size round table with 3 chairs. The light is bright, the air feels warm and heavy, very heavy…
I am standing in front of the desk next to the closed door of the office (I so bad want to open …show more content…
He is looking down and is saying something I can’t really comprehend. He lifts his face and looks at me. There is conflict in his eyes. My tension increases, I think I know what he is going to say. I have heard those words many times before in TV shows, they are just part of a written script the actors have to memorize. We are not in TV although all the environment is beginning to feel surreal. I saw his mouth moving and from far away I hear “This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I don’t know how to say it. There is silence. Loudly screaming silence! “The body of your son was just found under the Golden Gate Bridge.” I am motionless, I feel nothing, I asked “are you sure is him?” – “Yes, he has been identified with the information on his Driver license. Picture and fingerprints from driving records.” I feel ambushed, I am lost. I don’t know where I am! I look down, I see myself standing there, talking with the cop. I see Caroline crying. Dave, Caroline and I hug. I can’t hear anything. I see tears and tears and faces of terror and confusion. I see myself unmoved, unaffected. I feel nothing, I don’t want to go back there. Then nothing, I can’t see anything, all is a blank soundless picture. I want to vomit.
There is a large old light brown wooden desk at the right side of the office and a couple of couches and a chair on the other side. The windows go wall to wall behind the couches and chair. There is also a mid-size round table with 3 chairs. The light is bright, the air feels warm and heavy, very heavy…
I am standing in front of the desk next to the closed door of the office (I so bad want to open …show more content…
He is looking down and is saying something I can’t really comprehend. He lifts his face and looks at me. There is conflict in his eyes. My tension increases, I think I know what he is going to say. I have heard those words many times before in TV shows, they are just part of a written script the actors have to memorize. We are not in TV although all the environment is beginning to feel surreal. I saw his mouth moving and from far away I hear “This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I don’t know how to say it. There is silence. Loudly screaming silence! “The body of your son was just found under the Golden Gate Bridge.” I am motionless, I feel nothing, I asked “are you sure is him?” – “Yes, he has been identified with the information on his Driver license. Picture and fingerprints from driving records.” I feel ambushed, I am lost. I don’t know where I am! I look down, I see myself standing there, talking with the cop. I see Caroline crying. Dave, Caroline and I hug. I can’t hear anything. I see tears and tears and faces of terror and confusion. I see myself unmoved, unaffected. I feel nothing, I don’t want to go back there. Then nothing, I can’t see anything, all is a blank soundless picture. I want to vomit.