What is shame? When I think of it, it is like a wound, a complex problem that I can never solve. Nobody at home or school will teach you how to move through shame. Just like Dick Gregory, I struggle a lot with shame.
The main source of the shame must be my parents' parenting style. I am the eldest granddaughter in the family so everyone has high expectation for me. My parents always urge and criticize me if I did not perform perfectly or in the way they want. When I was in primary school, my mom yelled at me in a shopping mall just because I bought something she did not like.“Why are you so useless? Why didn't you listen to my instruction? If you are that useless, you better not to be born!” She stared at me after saying this. Most of the people would cry, but I did not. I was shocked and I did not understand what triggered my mom's anger. At that time, there was a crowd in that shopping mall and they all looked at me and waited for my reply.“Can't you hear what I am saying?” She pulled my ear. …show more content…
A tiny incident could even trigger my feeling of shame. For example, I felt embarrassed if I did not know how to answer the questions or answer the questions wrong. When I was in primary six, my English teacher would ask someone to answer the questions suddenly. My English teacher was an old wrinkly woman with winter-white hair. She was strict with students and someone saw her yelling at a student outside the staff room. She was a witch to all of us. For this reason, I was afraid of having English lesson.
“Jamie, Can you answer this question?” My English teacher said.
I did not reply immediately as I could not hear her clearly.
“Jamie! Are you daydreaming?” She turned her head and looked at me.
I stood up promptly. “No, of course not, Miss Chan. I am sorry. Can you please repeat the question?” I said.
“I am asking you the main idea of this story.” She sighed.
I flipped my book and tried to find the
The main source of the shame must be my parents' parenting style. I am the eldest granddaughter in the family so everyone has high expectation for me. My parents always urge and criticize me if I did not perform perfectly or in the way they want. When I was in primary school, my mom yelled at me in a shopping mall just because I bought something she did not like.“Why are you so useless? Why didn't you listen to my instruction? If you are that useless, you better not to be born!” She stared at me after saying this. Most of the people would cry, but I did not. I was shocked and I did not understand what triggered my mom's anger. At that time, there was a crowd in that shopping mall and they all looked at me and waited for my reply.“Can't you hear what I am saying?” She pulled my ear. …show more content…
A tiny incident could even trigger my feeling of shame. For example, I felt embarrassed if I did not know how to answer the questions or answer the questions wrong. When I was in primary six, my English teacher would ask someone to answer the questions suddenly. My English teacher was an old wrinkly woman with winter-white hair. She was strict with students and someone saw her yelling at a student outside the staff room. She was a witch to all of us. For this reason, I was afraid of having English lesson.
“Jamie, Can you answer this question?” My English teacher said.
I did not reply immediately as I could not hear her clearly.
“Jamie! Are you daydreaming?” She turned her head and looked at me.
I stood up promptly. “No, of course not, Miss Chan. I am sorry. Can you please repeat the question?” I said.
“I am asking you the main idea of this story.” She sighed.
I flipped my book and tried to find the