Being different is lonely, and being lonely definitely isn’t fun. Well, I was the epitome of different and lonely. I will always be the epitome of at least one of the two, although I always thought it would be both. Being able to talk to others, and not be the shy kid I once was will be the saving grace of being different, but not being lonely; however, there was a journey I had to go through, and still am to this day, to reach this point. Being a loner was a product of being born into my family whilst living in a community that is predominately white. Being a kid with a black dad and a white mom in the early 2000s wasn't easy, and to this day it still isn't easy. Overall, many things from my childhood, and recently, has made me who I am today;
…show more content…
I did have a pretty normal childhood, but I did have issues with having friends and keeping them, or just fitting in. Usually, I would a group of friends for a year or so, and then something drastic would happen and then they would just drop me. It didn't help that I was extremely shy as a kid, and often had a hard time expressing myself and my feelings to others. I couldn't fully comprehend why people acted the way they did around me. They would act differently around me in comparison to other people, or specifically my white peers. I was one of a few mixed, or as our society would call us, black kids at my school, and part of the issue was most people didn't know for sure what I was. Sometimes, people thought I was Mexican, but my curly hair set me apart from being Mexican. Accordingly, kids would only see me as who I am on the outside and not who I was on the inside. I was being made fun of for my skin color, and also my personality. In general, I truly struggled with what I even identify with. Because I have one black parent and one white parent, it's hard to choose between those two cultures and who you identify as. I personally don’t like that I had to choose, and I was in a constant battle over what I should choose. Eventually, I got to middle school, and things got a little …show more content…
Some would say middle school was the worst or roughest years of their lives, but for me, that’s not true. There were some rough patches, but they weren’t anywhere near as bad as elementary school. I had finally gotten really good friends, and I started to get involved in school activities. This was also the point where I really started to focus on concert band and my grades. Before, I was pretty mediocre when it came to my ability to play the drums, and my grades, before middle school, were also not to the standard I hold myself to now. Among these things, I started to realize that identifying as either white or black was overrated and I didn't want to partake in that. The older I got, the more opinions I formed on who I was as a person, and how society shouldn't dictate who I am, only I can dictate who I am and none else should have the ability to do it for me. Focusing on these things helped me mature and grow into who I am
I did have a pretty normal childhood, but I did have issues with having friends and keeping them, or just fitting in. Usually, I would a group of friends for a year or so, and then something drastic would happen and then they would just drop me. It didn't help that I was extremely shy as a kid, and often had a hard time expressing myself and my feelings to others. I couldn't fully comprehend why people acted the way they did around me. They would act differently around me in comparison to other people, or specifically my white peers. I was one of a few mixed, or as our society would call us, black kids at my school, and part of the issue was most people didn't know for sure what I was. Sometimes, people thought I was Mexican, but my curly hair set me apart from being Mexican. Accordingly, kids would only see me as who I am on the outside and not who I was on the inside. I was being made fun of for my skin color, and also my personality. In general, I truly struggled with what I even identify with. Because I have one black parent and one white parent, it's hard to choose between those two cultures and who you identify as. I personally don’t like that I had to choose, and I was in a constant battle over what I should choose. Eventually, I got to middle school, and things got a little …show more content…
Some would say middle school was the worst or roughest years of their lives, but for me, that’s not true. There were some rough patches, but they weren’t anywhere near as bad as elementary school. I had finally gotten really good friends, and I started to get involved in school activities. This was also the point where I really started to focus on concert band and my grades. Before, I was pretty mediocre when it came to my ability to play the drums, and my grades, before middle school, were also not to the standard I hold myself to now. Among these things, I started to realize that identifying as either white or black was overrated and I didn't want to partake in that. The older I got, the more opinions I formed on who I was as a person, and how society shouldn't dictate who I am, only I can dictate who I am and none else should have the ability to do it for me. Focusing on these things helped me mature and grow into who I am