Suicide: A Personal Narrative Of My Life

I'm the youngest of three, suppose to be the middle child of five, but my younger sister and brother were miscarried at birth. When I was three years old is when the dangers of mental illness started to get scary. I saw my mom cry for the first time, she was crying because my father was refusing to take his medicine. I will never forget that night. If my dad would of taken his medicine than maybe my life would be different. All the tragedy started a month after i turned four years old. My dad had a tent set up in the backyard to go camping with oldest brother. I looked at him wanting to join them, but my father said no and promised me one day he will take me camping. That night, he took the car and all of our money and headed to his “kingdom”. …show more content…
I was broken into a million pieces. We drove up and saw her, slowly my brothers walk up and say their last goodbyes, along with my cousins. Finally, I walked up to her, and I mad the biggest mistake of my life. Because I was mute, I didn't say my last goodbye, or that I will always love her. I looked at her and said nothing. That's the biggest regret of my life and I will always remember that day. Later that night I was at the party, it wasn't fun at all knowing that i'm losing my best friend any second now. When I woke up on December 5th, I asked my mom if Gaber was still alive, she looked at me and said exact words, “earlier this moring, Gaber went up herhusband and your sister and brother, she is dancing up in heaven, watching over you”. Months go by after my grandmas passing. Most nights i'm on my knees, acting like im playing with my dolls, but I was crying, looking up, begging for Gaber to wake up. Begging for one last chance to tell her I love her. I was asking why did she have to go, why couldn't it have been me. I wanted to blame myself. I wanted to be the one dead. I wanted my grandma back. I was only 10 years old and wanting to