Personal Narrative Essay On Being Gay

The lowest I have ever gotten is when I decided to make the choice to go against my mother. It is not that I meant to do anything to hurt her; I just wanted to try to find some way to be seen as ‘normal’ in society. I had been fighting an internal conflict for years and I was not aware of the proper way to deal with my predicament, so I took the hard route unknowingly. If I could re-do one moment in my life, I would go back to my 10th grade self and let myself accept the fact that I am gay. If I had not made such foolish decisions, I probably would not want to go back to that time as much as I do. Wanting to reject the idea of myself being gay is not what wants me to reverse time, but what actions I took to try to prove to myself that I was not gay. Since society told me that being gay was wrong, the last thing I wanted to do was stamp the label ‘gay’ over my forehead. I did not know what to do, but being a teenager, I thought I was my duty to ‘fix’ myself. Therefore, to demonstrate to myself that I was not gay, I made the poor decided to date a boy. …show more content…
Maybe if I was not a teenager I would have done something else, but dating a boy was the first thing that I could think of. It was not long until my mom found out, which I know really hurt her because it made me lose a lot of her love. I lost all of her trust in me. I lost her comforting goodnight kisses. I lost her cheerfulness that made me feel like the happiest person in the world. I lost the sense of security that I used to feel around her. Now that I have gone against my mother, I feel like I have lost her forever. I supposed that the only good that I got out of this was that I finally believed in the reality that I was, in fact,