Stability was a luxury that I was never able to have. Between moving across the country every few years and barely being able to go to a single school for more than a grade, the thing I craved the most in my life was a steady group of friends and maybe a consistent pizza place to order from.
It’s not like I was oblivious to how lucky I was. Travelling across the country was an experience that many people don’t get to have. I am able to say that Lake Michigan sparkled like a pool made of liquid diamonds in the mornings on my way to school. The dusk sky in New Mexico left me breathless whenever I looked up from riding my scooter. Every new place was a bright new color to paint my childhood canvas into one that would catch anybody’s eye. And I hated that.
No …show more content…
I blamed it on me moving constantly instead of staying put in one place. It was because I had to move to America and wasn’t able to learn Korean at the rate everyone else had. Because I had to move back to Korea instead of staying in America, continuing my education in the language I was the most comfortable with. Because I was never given the chance to learn like everybody else. Because I was not like everybody else. My mom entered the room to check on me and I remember telling her everything I had been thinking. It wasn’t easy for her to listen to her daughter, someone who never spoke up once about the constant moving, talk about how she was feeling fundamentally inadequate to live and fit in anywhere because of how different she was from everyone. Like the good mom she was, she told me that my experience would set me aside from everyone and I would have the talent of adjusting and thriving wherever I would go. But I didn’t believe her. Her words of comfort slipped out of my mind for the next few years and were left forgotten in to dark pools of grey and black
It’s not like I was oblivious to how lucky I was. Travelling across the country was an experience that many people don’t get to have. I am able to say that Lake Michigan sparkled like a pool made of liquid diamonds in the mornings on my way to school. The dusk sky in New Mexico left me breathless whenever I looked up from riding my scooter. Every new place was a bright new color to paint my childhood canvas into one that would catch anybody’s eye. And I hated that.
No …show more content…
I blamed it on me moving constantly instead of staying put in one place. It was because I had to move to America and wasn’t able to learn Korean at the rate everyone else had. Because I had to move back to Korea instead of staying in America, continuing my education in the language I was the most comfortable with. Because I was never given the chance to learn like everybody else. Because I was not like everybody else. My mom entered the room to check on me and I remember telling her everything I had been thinking. It wasn’t easy for her to listen to her daughter, someone who never spoke up once about the constant moving, talk about how she was feeling fundamentally inadequate to live and fit in anywhere because of how different she was from everyone. Like the good mom she was, she told me that my experience would set me aside from everyone and I would have the talent of adjusting and thriving wherever I would go. But I didn’t believe her. Her words of comfort slipped out of my mind for the next few years and were left forgotten in to dark pools of grey and black