Personal Essay: I Believe In Pain

I believe in pain. When I was growing up I was afraid to be myself, I was afraid of the monsters under my bed, I was afraid of my reflections, I was afraid of my own shadow, and I was even afraid of pain from others. I started off being afraid of pain back in elementary, where my friends started to bully me. I know what you're thinking, “why are did your friends bully you?” My answer I wasn’t really for sure until my life went to hell. First, I found out that my “friends” were just fakes because I won’t do their homework. In fact, the only time I did their homework was when they were struggling in classes, but I wasn’t going to do it when they just wanted to hang out with other people. Next, I told my best friend “no” about doing her homework …show more content…
Now, I know giving up on something isn’t a big deal but it’s a huge deal when pain makes you want cut yourself to death.
Yes, I admit it I cut myself, I had cut away the pain, and I had cut the harsh words out of my life. I wanted to carved those harsh words out of my plain white skin to show I wasn’t weak and that I could handle pain and the way to do that was fight it with more pain, with one line at a time. At first, I thought about where I hid the rusty blade when the lies started. Then thought about my parents and what would the say about the lines, the blade, and my happiness. Next, I started to panic about the two pains, like what if carving lines didn’t help get rid of the pain itself. What if slicing my skin open little by little shows that I’m afraid to stick up for myself? Finally, before I changed my mind I took that dirty old