A room surrounded by individuals, individuals that smiled, smiles that grew into laughter that could be heard from far, one would often smile too. But was it genuine? We all experience sorrow, but to what degree? I wondered how others would act like everything was fine. The only wish I had was to go home and hide.
The red melting candles dripped the wax through the white cake. This year I wish I was gone and they all cheered without knowing. I’m not strong anymore, I’m actually quite tired. Every day I discover something new about me that I hate. There seems nothing that could stop it, as like if I am trapped in a current and there is a waterfall coming soon. I want to live, yet I want to die. What should I do tonight?
I had heard time healed …show more content…
So young and so insane. I miss the old me. I really do. I entered my psychiatrist’s office as the technicians escorted me from the daily recreational therapy. “Do you feel like hurting yourself?” he asked for the fifth time this week.”No”, I lied. “I feel much better but I do miss home.” That was true, I really did miss home. This place made me feel worse and the medication was changing me in a very drastic way. I couldn’t feel anything and I was desperate to leave. The next day I got released. I had it all planned already, I was sick of being in this never ending battle with my …show more content…
I had vanished without a tell to the world and that was okay. You see life made no sense, so why have it. While I layed on the freshly washed blue bedspread that my mother had done earlier that day, I felt a relief. I felt tranquil and you could it hear it in my breaths that were cutting shorter. The numbness in my body was great. The quietness of “nothing” was everything and I was ready to let go.
I woke up and glanced around. I felt pain, this time it was physical. I discovered some bruised veins on the top of my hands, as if the connecting process was done in a rush. I was in the hospital and on my way to the mental institution again.This time I told myself I would give it my all. I was tired of seeing my parents suffer; I was going to do it more for them than for me. I was fed up with my mind and with the reality I was surrounded by. I was going to win this battle or die trying. After all what was the worst that could
The red melting candles dripped the wax through the white cake. This year I wish I was gone and they all cheered without knowing. I’m not strong anymore, I’m actually quite tired. Every day I discover something new about me that I hate. There seems nothing that could stop it, as like if I am trapped in a current and there is a waterfall coming soon. I want to live, yet I want to die. What should I do tonight?
I had heard time healed …show more content…
So young and so insane. I miss the old me. I really do. I entered my psychiatrist’s office as the technicians escorted me from the daily recreational therapy. “Do you feel like hurting yourself?” he asked for the fifth time this week.”No”, I lied. “I feel much better but I do miss home.” That was true, I really did miss home. This place made me feel worse and the medication was changing me in a very drastic way. I couldn’t feel anything and I was desperate to leave. The next day I got released. I had it all planned already, I was sick of being in this never ending battle with my …show more content…
I had vanished without a tell to the world and that was okay. You see life made no sense, so why have it. While I layed on the freshly washed blue bedspread that my mother had done earlier that day, I felt a relief. I felt tranquil and you could it hear it in my breaths that were cutting shorter. The numbness in my body was great. The quietness of “nothing” was everything and I was ready to let go.
I woke up and glanced around. I felt pain, this time it was physical. I discovered some bruised veins on the top of my hands, as if the connecting process was done in a rush. I was in the hospital and on my way to the mental institution again.This time I told myself I would give it my all. I was tired of seeing my parents suffer; I was going to do it more for them than for me. I was fed up with my mind and with the reality I was surrounded by. I was going to win this battle or die trying. After all what was the worst that could