I could feel the silent judging piercing into my skin the moment my fifth doctor this month strode into the room. Smiling broadly with her gleaming straight teeth, the doctor gave me the "once over" and began to run through her typical set of clinical examination questions.
"Are you pregnant," she succinctly asked. To her, this question was a mere routine. To me, however, the question still pulled me back to some of my most taunting nightmares. "F-A-T you are fatter than a pregnant lady," a voice screamed in my head with a menacing tone. I was a fool for thinking that as a female physician, she would be more sensitive towards a girl like me-- a girl in her late pre-teens who was brought to doctors after doctors because she apparently has …show more content…
On that particular day, the museum was showcasing sculptures of various Greek gods and goddesses. I stopped at the one named "Aphrodite". According to the description, Aphrodite is the goddesses of beauty and love. Surprisingly, she had a "fat" figure compare to me, but all the guests in the museum approved of her beauty and shoved to take photos of the sculpture. A young man beside me even commented on how Aphrodite was much more beautiful than the female models on magazine covers, whose skinny bodies my friends and I admired immensely. Looking at my own body, I finally realized how skinny I was compared to not just Aphrodite, but most girls around me. It struck me that despite all the doctors, psychologists, and long appointments that I had suffered through in a desperate hope that they would "cure" me, I had to be the one who decides when to take the first step forward. Whether it was from my family or the medical professionals, support could be easily found, but I must take charge of my own life by maintaining a nutritious diet and becoming more confident in my body …show more content…
The evening I returned home, I ate my first full meal in two months. Gradually, I learned to shut off the pounding voices in my head and the voices of classmates who still admired models and wished to be "just like them". I was free from my own prison and free from peer influence on the definition of beauty. Health, I decided, is much more
"Are you pregnant," she succinctly asked. To her, this question was a mere routine. To me, however, the question still pulled me back to some of my most taunting nightmares. "F-A-T you are fatter than a pregnant lady," a voice screamed in my head with a menacing tone. I was a fool for thinking that as a female physician, she would be more sensitive towards a girl like me-- a girl in her late pre-teens who was brought to doctors after doctors because she apparently has …show more content…
On that particular day, the museum was showcasing sculptures of various Greek gods and goddesses. I stopped at the one named "Aphrodite". According to the description, Aphrodite is the goddesses of beauty and love. Surprisingly, she had a "fat" figure compare to me, but all the guests in the museum approved of her beauty and shoved to take photos of the sculpture. A young man beside me even commented on how Aphrodite was much more beautiful than the female models on magazine covers, whose skinny bodies my friends and I admired immensely. Looking at my own body, I finally realized how skinny I was compared to not just Aphrodite, but most girls around me. It struck me that despite all the doctors, psychologists, and long appointments that I had suffered through in a desperate hope that they would "cure" me, I had to be the one who decides when to take the first step forward. Whether it was from my family or the medical professionals, support could be easily found, but I must take charge of my own life by maintaining a nutritious diet and becoming more confident in my body …show more content…
The evening I returned home, I ate my first full meal in two months. Gradually, I learned to shut off the pounding voices in my head and the voices of classmates who still admired models and wished to be "just like them". I was free from my own prison and free from peer influence on the definition of beauty. Health, I decided, is much more