Personal Narrative: Ajay Just

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When Aman dives in and hits his head on the concrete ground and waits to be saved. I think I would have made that seen more dramatic. When It is christmas and Ajay freaks out. I do not blame him for freaking out. If it were me I would have freaked out to. I would have made this about about Ajay Just to show that he's not left out and that they still care. But I would also make it about the brother who is fighting for his life. I do think In some spots that it needs be all about Ajay. I wish they would give more detail about the brother.
They mom never leaving Amans side unless if it was to go get a coffee and some cookies. I would put it into more detail on how she feels, and thinking. Same with the dad I think they need to show more feelings.

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