Given that none of these drugs ever made me feel less depressed or less anxious. If anything they made my anxiety worse because it was harder for me to play the role of a “human” I would not respond to things the correct way or slowly and felt like more of a freak and that I never fit in anywhere. It also got my mother angry with me at Christmas when I never seemed to show the correct emotion for receiving a gift or gratefulness I was flat emotionally on all of these drugs.
I never liked talking to people and have never felt joy in doing anything that involves people. I like animals and hearing the warm summer wind blowing through the trees and tall grasses, with the birds in background. Laying in a field with my dog feeling the sun wash …show more content…
So I stopped having girlfriends in my mid 20’s and just worked on work doing landscaping in the spring and fall, and working at Chase-Pitkens (a DIY store owned by Wegmans similar to Home Depot that went out of business) all year, I would work about 90 hours a week in the spring and fall and about 60 the rest of the time. Until I tried to get a job where I could work less time and still make the same money. This new job was lawn care/fertilizer and pesticide application where I worked alone most of the time. The people I worked for I did not like and when I had to do jobs with one of them it was not a good day. The masks from high school did not seem to work anymore and working on my own so much did not allow me to practice and build new ones and or adapting any of my masks. The biggest problem with this job was the customers, they seemed to bitch about price and the work the last guy did and when I would say I was new here and whatever else that would fit with their complaints it never seems to calm them down. The second thing about this job was I was working much more than what they said I would be working. When I was hired they told me Monday to Friday sometimes a Saturday in early
I never liked talking to people and have never felt joy in doing anything that involves people. I like animals and hearing the warm summer wind blowing through the trees and tall grasses, with the birds in background. Laying in a field with my dog feeling the sun wash …show more content…
So I stopped having girlfriends in my mid 20’s and just worked on work doing landscaping in the spring and fall, and working at Chase-Pitkens (a DIY store owned by Wegmans similar to Home Depot that went out of business) all year, I would work about 90 hours a week in the spring and fall and about 60 the rest of the time. Until I tried to get a job where I could work less time and still make the same money. This new job was lawn care/fertilizer and pesticide application where I worked alone most of the time. The people I worked for I did not like and when I had to do jobs with one of them it was not a good day. The masks from high school did not seem to work anymore and working on my own so much did not allow me to practice and build new ones and or adapting any of my masks. The biggest problem with this job was the customers, they seemed to bitch about price and the work the last guy did and when I would say I was new here and whatever else that would fit with their complaints it never seems to calm them down. The second thing about this job was I was working much more than what they said I would be working. When I was hired they told me Monday to Friday sometimes a Saturday in early