Since being enrolled in the Interpersonal Skills course at Camosun College I am able to reflect upon a past arguments or uncomfortable conversations and learn from my communication mistakes. Recently, I learnt from reflecting on an argument I had with a guy I was seeing that I made many communication errors. Through writing this Personal Integration paper, I have been able to reflect and learn valuable lessons from that argument.
For a few months, I was seeing a guy and we were getting pretty serious. As we were just becoming more committed we were both no longer showing our best sides when we were around each other, we were showing a more comfortable true side at times. One night we had plans to make dinner at his place. As traffic was backed …show more content…
Reflecting , I should have entered the apartment, noticed the tension and done a perception check to see if my assumptions were correct before assuming they were. A complete perception check consists of three parts. The first part of a perception check is describing the behaviour noticed, for example, I could have said “I feel like there is some tension between us”. The second part of a perception check is providing the other individual with at least two possible examples of the behaviour or the emotion you’ve mentioned in the first part. I then should have written “I feel like there is some tension between us, for example, when I buzzed your apartment you just buzzed me in and didn’t come down to greet me, and you have been stand offish towards me since I entered”. The final part of a perception check is requesting for clarity. To complete my perception check I should have asked “I feel like there is some tension between us, for example, when I buzzed your apartment you just buzzed me in and didn’t come down to greet me, and you have been stand offish towards me since I entered. Are you annoyed at me because I was late or did something else happen?” By doing a complete perception check I am ensuring that I have an accurately understand the behaviour before I assume my first assumption about his behaviour is correct. Through doing a perception …show more content…
I tried learn about what had happened at work today that had frustrated him. He worked in financial sector and I have a very minimal understanding and interest in finances. He began to tell me all about the financial problem that had occurred at work, but rather than explaining this problem in a convergent language he chose to explain it in a divergent language. By him using a divergence language he was emphasising the gaps in our knowledge on the topic. I kept having to ask questions like “what does that mean?” or “can you explain that”. He was becoming more and more frustrated that he had to keep stopping his story and that I was unable to follow along. Had he used a convergent language his frustration would not have risen as he would have adapting his speech to a level I could have understood.
The initial tension had now spiralled into a fight and we both began to speak in “you” language. This is when you express judgement on another person. He began to saying “you never understand things I explain” and “you make me feel like I’m speaking another language to you” and I would reply with “well, you make me feel like I’m
For a few months, I was seeing a guy and we were getting pretty serious. As we were just becoming more committed we were both no longer showing our best sides when we were around each other, we were showing a more comfortable true side at times. One night we had plans to make dinner at his place. As traffic was backed …show more content…
Reflecting , I should have entered the apartment, noticed the tension and done a perception check to see if my assumptions were correct before assuming they were. A complete perception check consists of three parts. The first part of a perception check is describing the behaviour noticed, for example, I could have said “I feel like there is some tension between us”. The second part of a perception check is providing the other individual with at least two possible examples of the behaviour or the emotion you’ve mentioned in the first part. I then should have written “I feel like there is some tension between us, for example, when I buzzed your apartment you just buzzed me in and didn’t come down to greet me, and you have been stand offish towards me since I entered”. The final part of a perception check is requesting for clarity. To complete my perception check I should have asked “I feel like there is some tension between us, for example, when I buzzed your apartment you just buzzed me in and didn’t come down to greet me, and you have been stand offish towards me since I entered. Are you annoyed at me because I was late or did something else happen?” By doing a complete perception check I am ensuring that I have an accurately understand the behaviour before I assume my first assumption about his behaviour is correct. Through doing a perception …show more content…
I tried learn about what had happened at work today that had frustrated him. He worked in financial sector and I have a very minimal understanding and interest in finances. He began to tell me all about the financial problem that had occurred at work, but rather than explaining this problem in a convergent language he chose to explain it in a divergent language. By him using a divergence language he was emphasising the gaps in our knowledge on the topic. I kept having to ask questions like “what does that mean?” or “can you explain that”. He was becoming more and more frustrated that he had to keep stopping his story and that I was unable to follow along. Had he used a convergent language his frustration would not have risen as he would have adapting his speech to a level I could have understood.
The initial tension had now spiralled into a fight and we both began to speak in “you” language. This is when you express judgement on another person. He began to saying “you never understand things I explain” and “you make me feel like I’m speaking another language to you” and I would reply with “well, you make me feel like I’m