Personal Analysis: Black Hair By Gary Soto

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“Black Hair” by Gary Soto has a specific line that reminds me of what an average day in high school for me was like, “The days were dull. I did what there was to do from morning until the bell sounded”. I usually felt this way because, like Soto in his autobiographical story he felt alienated from everyone around him. I am about to tell you my story of a time in my life where I felt shunned by everyone.
I believe it is safe to say that a lot of our four years in high school weren’t the best ones of our life with all the school work, puberty, teen angst, social ladders, and other problems it causes a lot of stress and makes us feel alienated from people and even ourselves. My years were no different in terms of how miserable I was, but I
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A few years ago I was diagnosed with major depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. The depression did it 's awful job by making me unmotivated to socialize with others, finish my schoolwork, and also pushing me towards suicide, but thankfully my family found out what was going on and helped me get better by taking me to a therapist, but the OCD on the other hand was a whole different beast. Previously I didn’t know that OCD could affect people in different ways, I had thought like a lot of people that it just caused people to repeat actions over and over again but my form makes me think unwanted or “intrusive” thoughts. The OCD “saga” I was experiencing while in high school was thinking that I was gay, despite the fact that I’ve always been attracted to girls. The thoughts of being homosexual made me extremely anxious around the males and it was the main thing I (unwillingly) focused on for most of the day, such as checking if I was portraying feminine behavior, or even asking people I trusted, multiple times mind you, if they ever saw me as gay. It was incredibly annoying and detrimental having no control over what I was thinking and it made me feel like nobody, especially at my school, would understand what I was going …show more content…
There was this girl a grade below me that I liked and thought liked me too. We rarely talked and sometimes we would get into conflicts when we did, a lot of the time she would send mixed signals towards me, like be nice to me one day and then not talk to me the next, which confused the hell out of me. When we were on a field trip I, to put it lightly, “made a move” on her, but it did not go well. Things were awkward for a while back at school, but she eventually started to act the same around me again and things seemingly went back to normal despite what happened on the field trip. Now, things got really bad when a new girl arrived during my senior year. She was, to put it lightly, an extreme attention seeker, had no social filter (she told me she lost her virginity at 16 the day I met her…), and couldn’t keep her mouth shut but I felt sorry for her and became one of her few friends. One day when we were talking alone, I explained what had happened between me and the other girl on the field trip to ask for advice on how to talk to her about it and then a few days later the girl I liked confronted me about it which caught me off guard and embarrassed me. I came to the realization that my stupid friend blabbed it out and soiled my chance of making peace with the other girl which made me

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