Tashara Mason Depression Analysis

Improved Essays
I chose to peer review Tashara Mason’s essay about Depression. Mason chose a couple of fantastic sources to gather her information from. The Mayo Clinic website makes every attempt to provide credible information. For example, they adhere to the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information which can be verified and the Mayo Clinic follows the Consumer Reports WebWatch guidelines which promote credible information on the Internet. Furthermore, the Mayo Clinic has an extensive list of accreditations and awards over the past fourteen years. The Mayo Clinic also has a list of medical editors to help ensure the information is medically sound (Mayo Clinic, 2016). WebMD is another great source. They work closely with a team of doctors …show more content…
Although I feel that Mason’s essay may have benefited from this information being incorporated into her thesis, perhaps in the introduction of her essay, because had I not known the topic I would have been confused as to what Mason was trying to persuade her audience to believe. While I do feel that the information included by Mason was valid and informative I would have liked to see more of her thoughts and feelings on the topic incorporated throughout the essay. Kate Duffin writing for the Writing Center at Harvard University explains in Overview of the Academic Essay that “[an] essay has to have a purpose or motive; the mere existence of an assignment or deadline is not sufficient. When you write an essay or research paper, you are never simply transferring information from one place to another, or showing that you have mastered a certain amount of material” (Duffin, 1998). I personally felt more like I was reading an informative essay rather than a persuasive essay. I would like to see Mason convince her audience that they should believe as she …show more content…
I ran the essay through Grammarly and Paper Rater. Grammarly caught a few grammatical errors and offered suggestions to correct them. Grammarly is available at the following web address: https://www.grammarly.com/. When I ran Mason’s essay through Paper Rater the first flag was for plagiarism. I did not think that Mason would intentionally plagiarize therefore I went to her sources and saw that perhaps Mason’s citation could use some work. Either to paraphrase the information more so than it might have been or to include quotations; block quotation for large quotes. Paper Rater also checks for spelling, grammar use, word choice, style, vocabulary usage, and “grades” the overall paper (this is not necessarily the grade that the writer would obtain by submitting his or her paper). Paper Rater is available at the following web address: http://www.paperrater.com/. These are the two websites I try to remember to run my assignments through for help with revision before I submit them. I am sure there are other sites available as well. I noticed a couple of other formatting errors that could be easily corrected. In addition, the example Mason offered to emphasize what I imagine was her point of the essay was superb. I feel it could be still included in the revision of her essay written in the third person as per the assignment. I absolutely connected with this example and I am certain other members of Mason’s

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