Stop passive aggressive abuse by taking responsibility
It took me till I was 40, to realize when it comes to being victimized by others repeatedly, I was playing an equal part in the actions of being the victim.
Yes! That is correct, I was at fault.
Others being aware of this piece of wisdom could potentially stop someone from becoming a repeat victim of mental abuse.
What I am referring to is what psychologists label as "cause and effect" and here 's why.
When I was in my early 40 's I rented a small home on the back of a piece of farm land owned by a man who worked out of the country the majority of the time. In exchange for a large discount in rent, I took care of his animals, yard work, farm equipment, and watched the property as …show more content…
The extra work I was doing was out of gratitude.
Suddenly, I am being asked to work harder, longer hours with no mention of any additional compensation. I realized then, that not only was I was being taken advantage of, but worse I was at fault for it. I knew that if I did not address this immediately, it would get worse.
I had apologized to this man twice, and taken responsibility for something I was not guilty of. I allowed him to get away with abusing me mentally and financially. I had metaphorically placed a sign on my back that said "I am a victim, come take advantage." Why would he change his tactics? When this was saving him trouble and money. Apparently, I was willing to continue taking whatever he could dish out!
It truly was psychological "Cause and effect!"
When faced with someone mentally or emotionally abusive, it is imperative that boundaries are drawn, be assertive and speak your mind right away. The very first time it happens. No one likes confrontation, however, if you allow yourself to be the "whipping post" it 's the same as inviting the abuse repeatedly. Learning how to set a good boundary will save you a lot of stress and self esteem in the
It took me till I was 40, to realize when it comes to being victimized by others repeatedly, I was playing an equal part in the actions of being the victim.
Yes! That is correct, I was at fault.
Others being aware of this piece of wisdom could potentially stop someone from becoming a repeat victim of mental abuse.
What I am referring to is what psychologists label as "cause and effect" and here 's why.
When I was in my early 40 's I rented a small home on the back of a piece of farm land owned by a man who worked out of the country the majority of the time. In exchange for a large discount in rent, I took care of his animals, yard work, farm equipment, and watched the property as …show more content…
The extra work I was doing was out of gratitude.
Suddenly, I am being asked to work harder, longer hours with no mention of any additional compensation. I realized then, that not only was I was being taken advantage of, but worse I was at fault for it. I knew that if I did not address this immediately, it would get worse.
I had apologized to this man twice, and taken responsibility for something I was not guilty of. I allowed him to get away with abusing me mentally and financially. I had metaphorically placed a sign on my back that said "I am a victim, come take advantage." Why would he change his tactics? When this was saving him trouble and money. Apparently, I was willing to continue taking whatever he could dish out!
It truly was psychological "Cause and effect!"
When faced with someone mentally or emotionally abusive, it is imperative that boundaries are drawn, be assertive and speak your mind right away. The very first time it happens. No one likes confrontation, however, if you allow yourself to be the "whipping post" it 's the same as inviting the abuse repeatedly. Learning how to set a good boundary will save you a lot of stress and self esteem in the