Some of the hardest parts of becoming a parent are all of the many, many decisions that we have to make. We face them daily. The outcomes of our decisions help to shape our children's identities and mold who they become. Or, so we think.
I remember the day that my husband and I left the hospital to take our daughter home, just over a year ago. The weight of responsibility in giving my daughter her name landed so heavily on my heart. I felt hemmed in by this power I believed that I had, as a mother, over my child's future, in choosing her name.
Believing that I possessed such importance was truly too much for me to bear. And in that broken vulnerability of brand new parenthood, I was shown that this power I believed I had was a fiction. It's …show more content…
I was afraid that I would pick a name I'd grow tired of. I was afraid I'd pick the wrong name. I was afraid of making a mistake. Now, one year into parenting, I can tell you one fact with certainty: I am definitely making lots of mistakes. My desire to "get it right" presumes that there is a right answer, when in reality, there is absolutely no way to know whether my answer is the right one, the wrong one, or something in between. When we think we have to get the answer right, we believe a lie. We will make mistakes. And there is no right answer.
2. What do we want in this situation?
Identifying what we want is really hard when we're out of practice. Even when I order food off of a menu, I ask whoever is with me what they're ordering first. The question "what do I want?" is hard because it asks: What do I want, and not what we think our parents want us to do. Not what we think our husbands want us to do or be. A part of me, a deep part of me, wanted to pick a name that suited my daughter, and that I loved. I'd known her for over ten months at that point. On the list of five favorite names, just one felt right. And I loved it.
3. What is the truth in this
I remember the day that my husband and I left the hospital to take our daughter home, just over a year ago. The weight of responsibility in giving my daughter her name landed so heavily on my heart. I felt hemmed in by this power I believed that I had, as a mother, over my child's future, in choosing her name.
Believing that I possessed such importance was truly too much for me to bear. And in that broken vulnerability of brand new parenthood, I was shown that this power I believed I had was a fiction. It's …show more content…
I was afraid that I would pick a name I'd grow tired of. I was afraid I'd pick the wrong name. I was afraid of making a mistake. Now, one year into parenting, I can tell you one fact with certainty: I am definitely making lots of mistakes. My desire to "get it right" presumes that there is a right answer, when in reality, there is absolutely no way to know whether my answer is the right one, the wrong one, or something in between. When we think we have to get the answer right, we believe a lie. We will make mistakes. And there is no right answer.
2. What do we want in this situation?
Identifying what we want is really hard when we're out of practice. Even when I order food off of a menu, I ask whoever is with me what they're ordering first. The question "what do I want?" is hard because it asks: What do I want, and not what we think our parents want us to do. Not what we think our husbands want us to do or be. A part of me, a deep part of me, wanted to pick a name that suited my daughter, and that I loved. I'd known her for over ten months at that point. On the list of five favorite names, just one felt right. And I loved it.
3. What is the truth in this