Outpatient Therapy Reflection

Since my first few weeks of outpatient therapy, I’ve heard that my diagnosis does not define me, that I am more than my diagnosis. While I understand that to a degree, I know that what I deal with is a large part of my current identity along with who I am as a person. My identity strongly revolves around it and I cannot pretend that it does not shape my life.
In 8th grade I was put into an outpatient program at a local hospital for having suicidal thoughts. At this time, I did not know what I was fully struggling with nor did I want to get better. I felt like it was not worth anyone’s time to figure out why I had felt so wrong all of my life, especially at a point when my view of myself was mainly negative. I was assigned a doctor and a therapist-who …show more content…
This means, in simple terms, that I push myself into Advanced Placement classes and after school activities and refusing to let myself use my illnesses as an excuse to do poorly. I struggle to do even the simplest task quite often but I am faced with an overwhelming fear of failing due to being mentally ill. In fact, I have had more breakdowns and more days filled with numbness and utterly no motivation than I can count. This affects me personally on a daily basis: I rarely get enough sleep, I get headaches that occur frequently, my neck is often sore or stiff, and I experience nausea on a regular basis. These define my personal identity. The way I live my life with depression and anxiety are simultaneously everything about who I am and only a fraction of me. There are a hundred other defining parts to who I am. My biggest passion is creating art, I have spent my entire highschool career as a part of choir and got to tour Ireland, I love making those who I love feel appreciated and beautiful...the list goes on and on. While all of those are important, yes, they don’t dive into the core of my personality and why I am the way I